Should I move to boyfriend’s country permanently? (Long distance relationship)

Hi, and thanks for your question.

Something worthwhile to remember is that the most important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself.

That's not to be confused with being selfish -- the idea that the most important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself is actually reminding us that staying true to yourself is the best foundation you can have for a healthy, happy life that's authentically "you" and fully aligned with your own individual values and priorities.

Similarly, the biggest betrayal we can experience is that of betraying ourselves by disregarding (or disrespecting) our own individual values and priorities. When we betray ourselves (through going against our own best interests, disavowing our values, not making time for our priorities, etc.), we're eroding the credibility we would otherwise have with ourselves, which leads to feelings of unease, distrust, uncertainty, and often times looking outside of ourselves for guidance and direction.

It can be difficult to support ourselves and our own integrity/relationship with ourselves by setting boundaries with others, particularly other people who we care about and perhaps don't want to imagine our life without, but if we allow ourselves to be surrounded with people who don't share our values or at the very least who support us in living our values, we gradually start to lose our sense of identity and place in the world. It can get very dark emotionally and spiritually when that happens, and for some people, it takes a long time and a lot of energy to find themselves again.

I don't know that's what's happening for you (only you can honestly decide that for yourself), but your statement, "I feel like I am more content with my life here," and "I've been offered a dream job," and "I feel really isolated over there," are noteworthy statements that you may want to spend some time reflecting on, and really digging into what they mean for you.

There are also some other old sayings that may be applicable to your situation: "True love waits," and "Where there's a will, there's a way." Some have also said that you can tell someone who really loves you and cares for you because they "remind you of who you are when you've forgotten," which is another way of saying that they understand you and want the best for you, even if it's not necessarily something that benefits them. They know you and your values and priorities, and support you in living your life in accordance with them. Relationships are also a matter of compromise at times, and plenty of give and take is necessary to blend two independent lives; the extent to which you or your boyfriend (or any boyfriend at any point in time) make compromises and adjustments is unique to the two of you and can't follow any prescribed artificial timeline, but one thing's for sure: finding a balance is important.

Additionally, young people, by virtue of not really having been on the planet for very long (and I, of course, don't know your age), sometimes feel hurried to make decisions in life out of concern about "missing out" or "being behind," and this belief in an artificial timeline can put unnecessary pressure on relationships and personal growth in general. While time isn't unlimited, of course, there's a lot more time to figure things out and make adjustments that are right for you than you might think there is.

Pressure to make a decision is rarely a good thing. If you can take some time and really get a clear sense of the totality of what's important to you in life (and commit to living that reality in your daily life) and align all that you do and all that you spend your time with with those priorities in mind, "time" doesn't matter, since you'll be doing what's most important to you...and when you focus on what's most important to you (in terms of values and priorities), you really can't have any regrets...and not having regrets generally amounts to a life well-lived, however it turns out.

Best wishes!