Should I wait?

I fell in love with a seemingly wonderful man but after 5 months he started to pull away. Then he told me he has intense fear of being in a relationship due to past hurt and he never had a real relationship so doesn’t know how to and is seeking therapy for his situation but right now he can’t be in a relationship. He says he loves me but can’t see me. He calls me everyday and asks that I not discuss the relationship. He says I am selfish for not understanding his situation. He says he loves me and this is hurting him too. Should I just walk away or stay and wait for him to work through his issues. I feel like I was duped. He pursued me in beginning.
Why now? Should I just walk away? Cut off communication?
Asked by H.M.

Hi there,

Sorry your heart aches!  I have the same question you do, why now?  Did you ever ask him that?  Did something happen that you are aware of or was it out of nowhere that one day he changed? Do you believe him about his reasons for stopping to see you?  Why does he still call every day?  I know you might not know why either. It sounds kind of unusual but could it be true that he is in therapy and trying to fix the situation in some way?  If he still calls, it could be that he is trying to stay connected to you despite being unable or willing to be in a relationship.  I would suggest the next time you talk, be aware of how the conversation makes you feel, both during and after.  Do you feel uplifted and expanded or sad and upset after talking to him?

I guess to be honest I hear some "red flags", but I get that if he seemed wonderful you might not want to completely give up on him and the relationship.  However, if he is clearly telling you he doesn't want to be in a relationship now, then I would suggest starting to try to accept that.  If someone else is interesting to you (to date) safe about it but I say go for it!  Stay busy if you can! It doesn't sound like you are in a committed relationship and you are worthy of one if you want that. There's nothing wrong with a dating break and some time being single either. Maybe you could kind of leave the door open for the future but if "Mr Right" won't even see you it might NOT be right for now.  I get that you might be hurt, confused and frustrated.  But so much in life is timing.  For some (kind of odd) reason the timing isn't right for him, then yes if you can, move on! Those are my thoughts without knowing more.

Also try not to take it personally, as is sounds like whatever issues he has are his. Thanks for your question!  Good luck!