Why attraction fades?

One of the most extraordinary experiences is that first spark of chemistry when you see someone you are attracted to. The excitement in the first few months, or longer, of a relationship feels like you are walking on air, and the attraction is intense. As the relationship grows and develops, you both evolve and become more familiar with one another. As these changes transpire, the way we look changes, what we like changes, and how we emotionally feel about the other person changes. 

CHANGES IN LOOKS

Some people are visual creatures, and they determine attraction based on if they like what they see. The adage, Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, holds true for these people. If you find the athletic body type attractive, your attraction may fade if the body type changes to thin or obese. Admittedly, this is not fair; there are numerous reasons for looks change, aging, medications, health changes, pregnancy, stress, and so much more. However, a person can only be who they are, and if physical characteristics are the basis for attraction, then any changes in this area will lead to the attraction fading. 

PREFERENCE CHANGES 

As people grow and evolve, the things they like change. As the bible states, “ . . . when I became a man, I put away childish things." What you wanted in your younger years may seem childish or irrelevant as you mature into adulthood. Choosing a partner that focuses on superficial things can seem fun and attractive in your earlier years, but you want someone with more depth and awareness as you mature. Since you have evolved, that partner is no longer attractive to you. 

EMOTIONAL CHANGES IN THE RELATIONSHIP

It is a fact that in every relationship, there will be times when both parties will not like each other. Sometimes the events that cause the dislike can lead to anger, resentment, and even hatred. For example, if the partner has started spending more time with friends versus the family and is argumentative when they are at home, everything about that person becomes unattractive. It is a challenge to find someone attractive that you resent or hate. In these situations, the character traits become the basis of attraction. It does not matter how physically attractive the person might be; if the person’s character becomes unattractive, the attraction will fade.