Why do I still love my exes but i have a boyfriend

Hi, thank you for your question! I know it can be difficult to reach out for some help, so I would like to thank you for taking this first step. 

In the subject line it's states that you are thinking of your exes even though you're in a relationship. Further in to your question you outline that you feel that you partner isn't understanding of what you're bringing and that you haven't said "I love you" yet as there is a hesitant feeling of being the first person to say this, also you expressed that you don't know if you do "Love" them. 

When looking at the first part, we could be comparing our old relationships to this one and seeing how we felt towards those people and how we feel toward our current partner. This could be something as simple as the basic communication isn't there. The appeared lack of understanding can be draining as you can feel like you're not being heard, this can and will add a strain to the relationship.

In the last part you expressed not knowing if you love them as you can't say it due to not wanting to be the first. There sounds like a lot of unknowing in the relationship, what I mean by this is that you may not be getting what you want out of it. 

If you're not getting anything from the relationship we can explore speaking only to our partner and seeing how to progress and have a future. If however we've done this and nothing appears to have changed we then need to look at if the relationship is worth keeping and what is best for ourselves moving forward as it's not healthy to stay in a relationship just for companionship.

When it comes to relationships we also need to explore the relationship with ourselves as it's important to have a solid foundation in order for us to have boundaries in relationships, to keep ourselves safe. 

I hope this has been useful, if you would like to explore this further please don't hesitate to get in touch!