Why do people always end up leaving?

I’m sorry you had that experience. I know that it can be challenging to deal with breakups especially since you have had similar experiences in the past and those experiences have left you with pain and frustration. My goal in this response is to give you a couple questions to consider, and some realities that you may want to think about. So, question number one, what is your definition of excitement in a relationship? And what might have theirs have been? I say that because, excitement for one person may be different than for another. Additionally, that concept tends to evolve and change the longer a relationship exists. Sometimes going to the movies with that special person or eating at your favorite restaurant can lose its value over time. That does not mean you do not like those things or that they don’t, it’s just that time has passed and that tends to affect interests and desires.

Now question number two, considering the individuals that you were in contact with, what results did you really want? Where did you want the relationships to go? What were your expectations, and did you feel like those were met?

I say those questions, because sometimes it can be challenging to know what you really want out of a relationship. Sometimes people can get very caught up in the moment and put everything they have into it. But that can make moving forward difficult if an end goal is not fully considered on both sides of that dynamic. Emotions can direct us towards a desired end goal, but the emotions may not allow for a full picture of if it is even feasible. For example, if I am in a serious relationship with someone and they are going to be moving to New York. My emotions might drive me to want to move with her, but it may not be realistically feasible for me to even move. She also might feel uncomfortable if I were to go after her. That doesn’t mean she does not care. It is just that this new opportunity, comes with new things that she will want to learn and me moving with her could be distracting. Then one must also consider can the relationship last the distance? And a step further would be: should it last the distance?

So, no matter how a person may feel, sometimes our wants and expectations may not be compatible in the end. This can mean that you are doing your best in those relationships. But once the environment or dynamic ages some, it may take a more nuanced approach to adjust for the shift in time. It also can be an ideal time to review current expectations and end goals. And to be honest, can this relationship be sustained within those expectations and goals? Are there enough safeguards within the relationship for it to continue moving in a forward and upward direction? Answers to those questions can be difficult to face but can give you a realistic view of the relationship at that time and can inform any decisions you may want to make moving forward.

I hope this was helpful. I apologize if it is a little extensive.