Hi!I'm having trouble forgetting bad things that happened to me a year ago

Hello Ester,

With the information provided, I know you want to stay in present day and your current thoughts and feelings, however, it appears that it is old wounds that are dictating those thoughts and feelings you are feeling now.  When we have unresolved feelings of hurt, betrayal, trust, etc. it can be hard to move on and not bring that into our next relationship even when we are willing to process through it.  Furthermore, I know you mentioned pregnancy which can affect your hormones and make you feel even more vulnerable towards others. 

From what you mentioned, it sounds as though your current relationship with your boyfriend is a healthy relationship.  It is good that you were able to find someone whom is treating you correctly.  With that said, re-building trust with others should now be your focus.  When there is betrayal in our prior relationships, we can begin to feel incapable of being good enough, incapable of being loved, insufficient and unlovable.  The real issue becomes to work on yourself to rebuild your self-esteem and confidence and once you can gain closure that someone betrayed you, that it is no reflection on you but that other person, the healing will begin.  By carrying around this past hurt, you are letting those feelings take control over your current relationship which is not fair to your boyfriend nor yourself. 

This will not change overnight, you may have to do a lot of self-reflection to get past betrayal, however, you cannot penalize someone (your new boyfriend) for something that he had no part in.  Trust that you were capable of looking for a new partner who would not share similar traits with your ex.  The first step is realizing that this is an issue for you and looking to fix it. 

I commend you for joining BetterHelp and looking for assistance.  I would suggest doing some work with a therapist in order to work on your self-esteem, confidence and trust with others.  Otherwise, being honest with your boyfriend about your past and letting him know where these feelings are coming from and that they are happening due to your past betrayal trauma.  You can get past this but you have to revisit those feelings in order to gain closure from the situation.