How do I start to appreciate myself, how do I see my own accomplishments?

Hi Mr. Wolf, I am really glad you reached out with your question.

It sounds like you have been struggling with your sense of identity and self-esteem. One thing I picked up on in your question is that it appears you rely on your sense of yourself and your own self-worship to be determined by external factors like the opinions of friends or family. While most everyone cares to a certain extent on the feedback of others, relying on it extensively can leave you questioning who you are and even contribute to the development of mental health conditions like depression and anxiety.

One way to combat this is by working on developing your sense of self. The more certain you are internally about your identity, the less you will be swayed by the comments and opinions of others.

One way to begin developing your sense of self is to explore your values and interests. What is important and sacred to you? What character traits do you admire and wish to develop? What goals have you set for yourself? All of these questions can help you to discover the foundation of who you are.

Another step that can be helpful in developing your sense of identity is to reflect upon your personal boundaries, or the social, emotional, and physical lines or space between yourself and others. How do you choose to spend your time and who do you prefer to spend it with? Do you have difficulty saying no to others? Do you crave more time to yourself or do you really thrive on being social? These are all questions that can help you understand where your personal boundaries are drawn between yourself and others.

The development of your sense of self is a process that will take time. It is a lot to do on your own and it could be very helpful to explore this process with a therapist. This person will not be biased and can prompt you to reflect more deeply. As the strength of your sense of self builds, your reliance upon the opinions of others and vulnerability to being swayed by them will diminish. 

I wish you all the best, Mr. Wolf, as you embark upon this journey.