why do i feel like an outkast in my family?

i feel like the one that's different in my family. everyone thinks mostly the same things but i don't. i'm nothing like them at all. we only agree on ways to spend money. i deal with my problems totally different, lately i just can't get along with them no matter what i do. i've tried not talking, i've tried talking.
Asked by DE

Hi DE! 

Thank you for reaching out for some help with this! Feeling different can be challenging and isolating. The truth is, you probably are different than your family but that is more than okay. Everyone is different in their own way and that is what makes us, us. 

I am going to take a risk and assume you have heard that before. In today's society, we are told that it is okay to be different and that it is okay to be unique. I don't think we are always shown that by our family and friends. 

The truth is, the only person that has to like you, is you. Sure it's great to have friends and family as support but at the cost of having to pretend to be someone you aren't? Being yourself but also being respectful of other people is so important. 

What traits and qualities do you have that makes it difficult to get along with your family? Are there things that you are doing that might make them feel defensive or like they need to argue?

I am not blaming you for these things, just asking you to dig a little and take a look at your thoughts related to these questions above because in reality, you can't control other people. You can control you. Sometimes when we want to be accepted or have something done our way, we try to control those around us and we try to push them into liking us and that leads to a lot of tension and frustrations, which can be seen as dislike. 

How does you dealing with your problems differently impact the rest of your family? It shouldn't impact them at all. They can be supportive of you while respecting that maybe you do or you don't want to talk about it. Are they doing this? Having a conversation with them in a respectful way about how you feel might also be helpful. 

Speak with "I statements" when talking. This means expressing how you feel without blaming anyone else for those feelings. This means trying not to say things in a way that will cause others to be defensive. 

It's okay to be different than your family. It's okay to be you. It's not okay to treat people with disrespect so as long as you are steering clear of that, don't worry about what others think and focus on loving yourself. 

I wish you the best!