I am not sure where or what to start with. I just know my mental and physical health need some help

Hey there Rosey,

I am so glad you have reached out and are searching for answers to help you. I'll start by saying that most every person could benefit from therapy; whether that person has experienced trauma, struggles with mental illness, or just needs an outlet. I would encourage you to seek out therapy as soon as your are able. BetterHelp offers three different options for Live therapy sessions which include audio, video, or chat sessions, depending on your preference. Also, through BetterHelp, clients have the ability message their therapist in between sessions to check in and discuss different issues. In addition to therapy, below I will discuss a few other things you can do to care for your mental health.

To help, I would recommend journaling. This can be a fantastic tool to help you get your thoughts out on paper. Journaling can be done through an actual physical journal, through an app on your device, through a document on your computer, or even in the notes on your phone. There are no rules to journaling and if you are interested in an app, there are many great free ones out there if you search in your phone's app store. They can help by providing journal prompts for you to help you get your thoughts onto paper. It can be tough to deal with difficult situations, but often when a person is able to write them out it serves as a release and can be very therapeutic. If wanted, you could even write things out and then throw them away or delete the file. Some people fear others may find their journals and this is a good option in those instances. If you do join BetterHelp, there is a journal section which allows you to send your journal entries to your therapist which can be helpful when working together (sharing journal entries is completely optional). 

It can also be helpful to identify how your thoughts affect your emotions and how your emotions then affect your behaviors.  One example is someone who struggles with negative feelings or negative behaviors.  Through talking about it, it could be identified that the person is struggling with negative thinking which is what is leading to those behaviors.  By focusing on the negative thoughts, we are able to change the feelings and behaviors. You can work to change your response to emotions, and also, ways to better manage your emotions for the future.

A person can also learn to identify the actions they may have that lead to the issues they may struggle with. This is easier done in therapy but it is something you can work on on your own as well. We do things all day long (even doing nothing is included in this) and it is important to notice if the things we are doing (or not doing) are moving us toward behaving like the person we want to be or if these things are moving us away from that person we desire to be. A person can work to identify which actions are effective and which are ineffective and then learn how to not get hooked by the ineffective actions, thoughts, urges, etc. If you are able to identify which thoughts or actions you are engaging in that are keeping you from showing up for yourself and your family, you can then work to change these behaviors. For example if you are exhausted and having a hard time getting motivated to engage in self-care, you can start to take small steps to take care of yourself, such as making a daily schedule with items scheduled such as showering everyday or a hot bath at night to relax. Taking some small steps can help to get things kickstarted into action. 

While working through any issues, it will be very important to identify ways to cope with the thoughts and feelings you may experience. Coping skills are very important on the road to healing. You can work to find coping skills that will help you as you navigate emotional issues. Deep breathing, mindfulness exercises, grounding techniques, journaling, and many other tools can all be used to help with coping.

Grounding techniques can be very helpful for healing.  One good technique is imagery. Using your senses, you can focus on your surroundings so focus on things in the room you can see, hear, smell, touch, and taste. Doing this allows you to focus on the present moment. Having some healthy hobbies and things in your life that you enjoy can be helpful as well. Hobbies can be a part of self-care. It is important to focus on taking care of yourself and doing something you enjoy, such as reading, time outdoors, a hot bath, yoga, a spin class, a walk, etc. There are many things you can do that are self-care, it is important that you find the right thing that works for you. 

You have done a great job at taking the first step toward healing by reaching out for help.  I truly hope you can find your motivation for continuing to get well, ways to cope with emotional issues, and ways to better manage situations in the future to hopefully have better emotional responses to situations.  Self-care and spending time with those in your life who are healthy support for you are important parts to it all as well.  I encourage you to find some time to do something you enjoy; go for a walk, sit on the porch in the fresh air, meet a friend for coffee, read a good book, etc - these can all be great ways to help with emotional issues. I also encourage you to talk to those in your life who can be sources of support for you. You may also want to look for self-help books you can read while on your journey.  You can look at the reviews of different books to get an idea of how good they are and if they would be helpful, many books also include a workbook which can be helpful.  You could start with looking for CBT or ACT books. I wish you the best of luck!