What are some things I can do to help me cope with chronic pain, anxiety, and loss of motivation?

I lost my job before the pandemic and moved in with family. Soon after, I started having a variety of health problems including chronic pain in my hands (possibly psoriatic arthritis, but no one will diagnose me). I'm stressed all the time about my future and my ability to work.

With my hand issue, I even struggle to do the remote freelance work I've been getting. Doctors won't discuss what my future with this may look like until they diagnose me, and 9 doctors and 3 years later, I still don't have a treatment plan. It's resulted in anxiety I've never experienced before in my life and includes sleep issues. Pre-job loss, I had already been having trouble making any type of headway into the career I wanted and had all but given up. I'm in my thirties and have never been able to get a salaried job. I double-majored and have a strong work ethic and a variety of experience and transferrable skills. I've also worked with a career coach in the past and don't struggle with networking.

I'm lost, in pain, and starting to struggle with motivation to even try. On top of that, I'm living with my mom who doesn't respect my privacy, is always right, and has never been supportive of my goals. I have some money in savings but don't make enough to move out on income alone, let alone to move to cities where my friends live (I'm in the house I grew up in a rural area without any friends in the area.).

I want my life back, but I'm terrified of what it may look like. My goals have all but disappeared because I no longer feel like I can reach them. And I feel like I can't make plans for my future because of my health issues.
Asked by Lost
Answered
05/04/2022

Hey, thank you for asking your question and for providing the follow up details. I was sorry to read about your health conditions, especially about how it is impacting your ability to plan for the future and to work consistently. That can be extremely overwhelming, and can sometimes lead you to feel like you are not making accomplishments or having a type of purpose.

 

I know you mentioned in the follow up details that you're having trouble setting goals, and that's definitely something that we could talk about in therapy. Setting small goals, basically breaking down into smaller steps what you want to try to accomplish is important to handle what life is throwing at you, and to be honest, it sounds like life has thrown a lot your way! 

 

I also understand the need for privacy, and I encourage you to try to find a way to either talk with your parent about the issue, or to possibly reevaluate your finances as best you can and see if possibly moving out, maybe even with a roommate is something that could work out for you. Being in a rural area would be difficult, especially if it's separated from your friends.

 

Congratulations on completing school, that is a big accomplishment! Something that I also might think will assist you in feeling less lost and overwhelmed is focusing on what you have already accomplished, instead of simply focusing on what you have left to do. Goal setting is important, but it is not the be-all and end-all. From a young age we are typically taught to strive to be our best, which is important, but it is also important to acknowledge how far you have come. 

I'm glad that you have been able to do some freelance work, and with your chronic health concerns I hope you are continuing to be able to do so. I understand if the pain is getting in the way of continuing with your future plans. Something else that I think might be helpful is looking into different hobbies so you feel like you have more of a purpose. I know when I have worked with other clients with chronic health concerns, it is sometimes the boredom and the feelings of uselessness that gets to them. 

 

Thank you so much for your time, good luck and take care!

(LISW, LCSW)