What bullying means?

Bullying is unwanted and aggressive behavior that repeatedly occurs in situations or relationships with a real or perceived imbalance of power. This definition has several parts which are important in differentiating bullying from other types of aggressive behavior.

An imbalance of power can exist where there is an imbalance of physical strength, access to information about a person that one person has and attempts to use over them, or when the bullying party is more powerful due to social position. The ability of the behavior to repeat or a history of it repeating is a facet of bullying, which differentiates it from a one-time assault. 

There are multiple types of bullying—verbal bullyings like name-calling, insults, threats, and sexual comments. Relational bullying differs because it focuses on ruining someone’s relationships with others or their reputation. This kind of bullying can look like leaving someone out or excluding them intentionally, lying or spreading rumors about someone, or intentionally publicly embarrassing someone. Physical bullying is just like it sounds and involves hurting someone else’s body or their belongings. It may involve physical acts like the destruction of property, stealing, spitting, hitting, or pushing.

Bullying can take place in a variety of settings but commonly occurs in schools. It may also occur outside of school at school-sanctioned activities, buses to and from school, or in the neighborhood where a child lives. Some bullying takes place online and is called cyberbullying. This form of bullying is common and utilizes social media, chat forums, and other online spaces to bully others.

Bullying can have impacts on all those involved in it, from the perpetrators to victims to bystanders. Kids bullied are more prone to depression and anxiety, health complaints, and trouble with academics. Kids who bully others are more likely to misuse substances, experience criminal convictions as adults, and become abusive toward later romantic partners or their children. Those who are witnesses of bullying are more likely to use substances, have an increased likelihood of mental health problems, and miss or skip school more often.

If you’re concerned that your child may be experiencing bullying, you can watch for these signs:

• Unexplainable injuries
• Missing or damaged personal items
• Complaints of physical pain or pretending to be sick
• Running away from home
• Decreased self-esteem
• Sudden lack of interest in once enjoyed activities
• Sudden withdrawal from social activities

There may not always be signs, though. Talking with your child is important to understand what is going home. Talking with a therapist about supporting your child and offering therapy as a resource to your child can be very beneficial.