Can my issues really be fixed?

Hello Stephy

It is common for individuals to think the worst in situations and become angry even when they trust an Individual. Our thoughts have a large influence on our emotions. Cognitive distortion are thoughts that can affect everybody but in intensified form can influence thinking and behavior. Many individuals experience cognitive distortions, thoughts exasperated by emotions, such as catastrophizing or all or nothing thinking, personalizing or self blaming taking a general statement personally or thinking that you caused a situation to name a few. These cognitive distortions can influence our behavior and also influence our future thoughts, feelings and actions. This can lead to problems in relationships and anger due to struggles expressing emotions. When a person is able to identify what triggers their cognitive distortions, identify when they occur,  then learn to challenge the distortions and negative thoughts that come as a result then they can learn to counteract the distortions when they occur. When a person feels overwhelmed feelings and thoughts are also intensified. Intensified feelings leads to intensified thoughts and actions. These actions can lead to intense anger, and feelings of being so overwhelmed it is difficult to cope. A good way to counteract the automatic negative thoughts that come from cognitive distortions is to ask yourself some questions. 

1. Is there any proof of my thought

2. Is there any proof disproving my thought

3. Am I trying to figure out a situation by guessing or assuming

4. What would a neutral party think

5. Will this matter in 6 months? Will this matter in 1 year? 

These questions will not help in every situation but they will help to challenge your thinking when intense emotions are involved. This will also help with you feeling overwhelmed. Another thing that is helpful when you feel angry about something you have to do, ask yourself: What could happen versus what will happen. Maybe you are going to the worst case scenario and playing it out in your head will make it not as bad as it seams. 

Lastly I always tell my clients to look at their protective factors in their life. Protective factors are things that help a person to be resilient in the face of challenges in their life. Some protective factors can be social supports, sense of purpose, physical health, coping skills, self-esteem and healthy thinking. When one of my clients is faced with a challenge I ask them: How did you get through your last challenge? What did you do, or how did you overcome the obstacle? I have them look at their protective factors that helped them to be resilient through that life challenge. 

Thank you,

Laura