Ask a therapist > Anxiety > How can I overcome my anxiety and self-loathing?

How can I overcome my anxiety and self-loathing?

Hello. I am currently dealing with crippling anxiety. My anxiety makes it difficult for me to talk to my peers or make any meaningful connections. It causes me to stress out over simple things. This stress leads to overeating, migraines and in extreme stressful situations, I will have an anxiety attack. I have been dealing with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Even as a child, I remember panicking whenever I had to interact with other kids. My anxiety had also led to self-loathing as I have a very negative view of myself and see myself as a failure.
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Asked by G
Anxiety
Attacks
Answered
05/14/2022

G, 

Hello, it is very nice to meet you. I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with this anxiety. You did the right thing by reaching out for help. If you and I were working together in therapy, I would want to explore more about your background. You mentioned experiencing anxiety, even as a child. Anxiety is the illogical and irrational worry or fear about something. It can become a vicious cycle in which you worry about how much you worry about things! 

I would want to explore with you the physical symptoms you experience when anxious. Take it from head to toe, what do you feel or experience - headache, tearfulness, dry mouth, teeth clinch, heart racing, stomachache, etc. When you are attuned to the signs and symptoms, this will help you better manage it. When you notice that the anxiety/panic is coming and increasing, take a step away from the anxiety provoking situation - step outside, get a glass of water, etc. I would also encourage you to get a medication evaluation from a psychiatrist or primary care physician. If it is indicated, medication along with therapy can be very effective treatment. 

The self loathing feelings your describe is also part of anxiety. Anxiety can cause these intrusive thoughts. When you experience this, ask yourself if the particular worry or fear you are experiencing is valid or logical. Challenge the thoughts and question whether or not they are valid. When you have a negative thought about yourself, reframe it and identity a positive about yourself. Do this every single time the negative thoughts come in. 

Try not to push or overwhelm yourself. It is okay to take it in small steps. Find things that you enjoy doing that are relaxing soothing for you, such as yoga, meditation, reading, taking a warm bath, etc. Journaling is also an excellent tool. Challenge yourself to go out in public, slowly. Take small steps and be kind and patient with yourself. I would also encourage you to consider working with a therapist who would be able to help you develop and improve on these anxiety management strategies. 

Most importantly, don't feel hopeless! There is help out there and things can definitely improve for you. I hope that you found this information helpful and I wish you all the best moving forward in your journey!

(MA, LPC)