What are ways to get over anxiety with leaving the house?

Dear Drew,

Thank you so very much for writing to BetterHelp to inquire about your concerns. Within your note you wrote that you experience some anxiety or panic attacks when getting ready to leave your home. These panic attacks are greater when you are leaving your home to go to a place that is new or unknown. Hopefully this letter provides some helpful information for you.

Should you seek out therapy for this concern, the therapist would likely ask you some additional questions to gain greater understanding and clarification about your concerns. In terms of the panic attacks, I would like to find out more about the specific symptoms that you experience during these panic attacks, and how long you have experienced them. Also, how long have you felt this panic or anxiety when getting ready to leave your home.

Next, as a therapist, I would like to explore more about the specific situations or settings that bring you greater anxiety. It may also be helpful to list out certain types of locations and rank order how much anxiety each setting causes for you. For example, I may want to find out why going to a grocery store causes more or less anxiety as compared to a shopping mall.

As you prepare to leave your home for a new setting, you may start to feel these symptoms of anxiety or even panic. When you start feeling these symptoms, there are a few important points to keep in mind. The first point, is to really focus on your breathing when feeling anxiety. It is important to slow down and deepen your breath cycles. For example, you may want to count your inhales slowly from 3 to 1, and then exhales slowly from 3 to 1. 

Another helpful technique to calm your mind and body is called boxed breathing. Boxed breathing is conducted in the following steps:

1. exhale all of your air

2. breathe in slowly for a count of 4

3. Hold this inhale breath for a count of 4

4. slowly exhale for a count of 4

5. hold for another 4 count

Repeat

Next, it is important to think about this transition that you are going through. In these situations, you are leaving your home to go to another place. When you think about a familiar place, such as work, a store you visit frequently, etc., it can be helpful to ask yourself why you are feeling anxiety and what is the worst thing that could happen. As you start questioning yourself about this change, you will likely find that there is nothing to be scared or worried about in leaving your home to go someplace else. It is helpful, therefore, to ask "what is the worst thing that could happen?" If you do have answers to that question, you might ask "how likely is it that the bad outcome would even happen on a scale of 1-10"?

You wrote in your question that you feel the most anxiety when going to a completely new place. It is helpful to prepare yourself fully for this new location to help put your mind at ease. Let's say, for example, that you are planning to visit a new coffee shop that you have never been to. In order to prepare, you may want to look at  a map of the location for the coffee shop. You may even want to look at other things such as photos of the coffee shop online or the menu for the coffee shop so you are prepared to visit this brand new place. As you prepare yourself for the new location, it is likely that you will begin to feel more at ease. Once you do visit this new location, please know that you can always reach out to people there to ask for help or assistance when you visit. You might want to ask people about the setting, the set up, the logistics, etc. Again, you can also ask yourself what is the worst thing that might happen. 

Let's say, for example, that you get lost on the way to this coffee shop. Next, you would brainstorm how to handle that situation. For example, you might stop somewhere to ask someone for directions to the coffee shop. You might also call the coffee shop to ask for more specific directions. Know that you can work through any difficult situations when encountering a new place. 

I hope that you found this information helpful. Reach out with any additional questions.

Thanks,

Larissa Rzemienski, Ed.S., M.C., L.P.C.