Ask a therapist > Anxiety > What should I do?

What should I do?

I am having anxiety issues in public! I feel fear of facing new people and talking to them! OR whenever I am at work, and have to give a presentation on any topic, i start to shiver! My voice shakes, and my face turns red. I have no self confidence! I feel like if I will say anything wrong, what will happen? People will laugh at me, and will think that I don't know anything. I don't want that..
Secondly, I have an insecurity that I have zero general knowledge.. and I always think that whenever I'll meet new people, I would not be able to hold up a conversation with them like intellectuals.. and then again the same thing, that they will judge me for saying something wrong, or saying anything that makes no sense for the others.. so it will make a bad image of me in front of them.. To overcome this, I avoid such gatherings..
Whenever in a conversation, someone asks me about "MY OPINION" on anything, my mind goes blank.. as if I know nothing about the topic. I can't give my personal opinion on any topic, and I don't know why is it like that..? later, when I think about the same thing, I realize that I should have said THAT at that point.. which at the time of discussion, never came to my mind..
I have fear of starting something new, because I always have in mind, that people are judging me and constantly looking at me..

Asked by Sois

Anxiety

Worry

Answered

06/09/2022

Good morning there Sois,

Welcome to BetterHelp, my name is Joanna and I am a counselor here. I want to thank you for reaching out to us here with your question which I have read closely.

From reading your question I get the idea that there is a lot of worry and concerns around social anxiety for you and has been for a while. Social anxiety as you have highlighted is the fear of social situations and all of the talking and other forms of communication that goes along side it.

There are some initial exercises you can do to help with your social anxiety and to have these to hand as part of your skills would be a good idea!

1. Try to understand your anxiety- by writing down what goes through your mind and how you behave in social situations. Are there any patterns that you can address or avoid? Keeping a diary of these issues can be helpful for yourself or any professional to be able to reflect on with you.

2. Trying to focus on what people are actually saying rather than worrying about what you want to say next can be helpful. It can help you to formulate a more thoughtful response even if it feels like it takes a little more time.

3. There are many forms of relaxation techniques for stress such as breathing exercises. You can find these online and begin to practice them as a way to slow down your anxiety when in a social situation.

I am also considering what you have said about your personal knowledge base and not feeling like you have much to contribute when in a social situation.

I have found that trying to keep relevant with my language content is an on-going activity. I would suggest engaging in podcasts, positive social media groups or other reading is a good way to broaden your general knowledge so when you are in a conversation you can feel you have something to contribute.

I realize that I may not have been able to cover all the interesting points you have made in your question but I think that by engaging with a therapist you can begin to work together to address them all in turn.

I do hope this answer has helped in a small way.

Please do take care.

Joanna

Mrs. Joanna Oxford