Ask a therapist > Depression > Dealing with porn addiction as a way to avoid difficult situations and confusion.

Dealing with porn addiction as a way to avoid difficult situations and confusion.

Although this is not exactly a question I want to get some insight with my problem. I am a PhD student who is dealing with the stress of not knowing where to push my research and not being able to properly concentrate in my work.

This did not use to be in like that. My peers in mi institution use to give (unconscious) support and structure to work. Although I have being dealing with some porn issue there were minor in the face of the structure the institution used to give me.

Since the pandemic happened my institute is closed and I had to learn to work at home. I think that I have got a lot of improvement here and there but it is still far from perfect. My concentration is random or nor existent from time to time and some times when everything gets difficult and I am very confused I end up watching porn. This make me feel very miserable.

I want to be a very productive person and myself frequently gets in the way. Sometimes with pornography, or brain fog or lack interest in my work. Sometimes I feel very bored of trying to improve.

Asked by OutofReality

Depression

Anxiety

Loneliness

Answered

06/29/2021

Struggling to cope with any type of addiction--whether it be to pornography, alcohol, drugs, or whatever--exacts a tremendous toll on a person over time. I certainly want to thank you for your bravery in sharing your story. I have myself personally struggled with addiction at various times in my own life, and I vividly recall the feelings of guilt, loss of control, and anxiety, that come along with it. Addictions are a sort of Trojan Horse, though: they are merely the outer façade, which hides a deeper pain and insecurity. They are the means, by which we attempt to cope with those intensely uncomfortable feelings.

Indeed, I heard some of this pain and insecurity in your story, and I am deeply regretful that you find yourself having such difficulty at this juncture in your life. While I am not making a diagnosis in responding to your question, I wondered if you might perhaps be experiencing some depression and anxiety (the two tend to often appear together)--both of which can affect concentration, memory, energy level, motivation, etc. If so, there are some highly effective treatments available for both conditions. Both are treated typically with cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which is a structured form of talk therapy aimed at teaching you how to think systematically about your own thinking, so that your mood and behavior change, as well. A course of CBT typically takes 12-16 weeks, but most people begin to feel better about 4-5 weeks into the therapy. CBT typically involves weekly 45-50 minute sessions with a psychotherapist, as well as homework assignments between sessions to help you practice the skills discussed in therapy.

Also helpful are certain antidepressant medications, such as the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs), which are newer medications with relatively few side effects or risks. A psychiatrist--a physician with specialized training in behavioral health--can make recommendations about what, if any, medications might potentially benefit you. These medications can require several weeks to begin producing the desired effect, so it is extremely important to take them as directed by your doctor.

In terms of addiction itself, addiction behaviors tend to continue because of a neurotransmitter (a chemical released in our neural pathways in the brain) called dopamine. Dopamine is released upon engaging in an addictive behavior, giving us a sort of "rush" and sense of relief, once we engage in the addiction. Unfortunately, the end result is that the dopamine rush reinforces these behaviors--makes them more likely to recur. Consider, for example, a habitual gambler, who promises himself that he is only going to spend $50 at a casino slot machine. He might initially enter the casino with this mindset, but what happens when he wins even a small amount of money? This is rewarding, and dopamine is released in his neural pathways, giving him a sense of relief and reward--so why not spend "just a little bit more"? Before too long, he has spent a small fortune, trying to ride the evasive dopamine wave.

I might encourage you to consider finding a group of supportive peers, who understand the difficulties you've encountered in your pornography addiction and can help to hold you accountable. Porn Addicts Anonymous (https://pornaddictsanonymous.org/) and Sex Addicts Anonymous (https://saa-recovery.org/) are two excellent resources for finding such support. Both groups offer a safe, confidential environment, in which members come together to support one another and to work toward a life free from addiction to pornography and harmful sexual behavior.

I do hope that whatever course of action you choose to take in working toward your own recovery that you will not lose hope. I am living proof that people can break free from the constraints of addiction and live a productive and fulfilling life. You're worth giving such a gift to yourself, aren't you? Be well.

(MS, LPC-S, NCC)