Do I have depression?

Hi there,

thank you so much for your question. I think it’s a very profound question that comes with a need to explore multiple areas. I will try my best to provide all my feedback here, however this is not a substitute for the job that is provided in counseling. Let this be a framework for your progress moving forward.

As mentioned, there’s a few questions to consider when looking at depression. There are a few things to rule out, one of which is more biological. Understanding your family history plays an important role in your understanding of your current symptoms. Did you grow up with parents that were ever depressed? How did they handle it or miss handle it? Did you grow up in a mental health affirming home? These are questions to consider that will give you more insight into your view of depression and your cultural view of it as well. Another aspect of ruling out depression has to do with your symptoms in the duration of your symptoms. Do you want to consider how long you’ve been experiencing the symptoms and the intensity of them, because it may change the direction of your treatment. Some individuals struggle with depression that is more mild and persistent, while other individuals struggle with intensive dips in their mood for two weeks minimum of time, which are considered more episode-like. Exploring this further can help you figure out what your treatment will look like.

Getting out a "situationship" (as you called it) also leads me to want you to explore your need to adjust. Adjustments to a single lifestyle might come with a need to re-establish a routine for yourself, friendships, etc. The adjustment itself might be so different than what you are accustomed to that it can actually leave you feeling overwhelmed and low. 
Slowing down to figure out what this relationship taught you about yourself and what you want to be mindful of in the future can help you prevent more relationships that look like this. What do you want to be mindful of moving forward? You might crave connection, belonging, and intimacy, but looking over ways to refine your standards and pace yourself in the dating process is also important.

A huge part of overcoming depression comes from a commitment towards behavioral activation. To ensure that you create a routine for yourself and commit yourself to self care and your responsibilities, explore what is needed from you. What efforts do you need to have in order to give yourself a chance improve the quality of your life? 

You mentioned struggles with your activities of daily living, which include the basic forms of self care, such as eating, sleeping, showering, etc. Balancing these needs to help you get back to a healthier baselines is a priority.

Another theme to cover is isolation. Low moods can cause us to retreat and push others away. Spending time nurturing your relationships and finding support in them can be incredibly helpful. Social supports can also include professional, such as psychiatrists and counselors that can work with you. A counselor can teach you more about your moods, help you highlight areas that need improvement, guide you in creating a routine, highlight your current distortions, and more. It is a relief to focus on yourself again and express yourself openly in a neutral environment.

Exploring thought tracking can also be incredibly useful. Incorporating time and skills to reflect on your self talk and what you find yourself actually passively believing to be true can lead to significant changes in self esteem, challenging intrusive thinking, and so on. 

As mentioned, this is just one part of the puzzle and does not substitute for consistent, intentional counseling. I hope this serves as a framework for your internal work and mental health journey ahead. I wish you the best!