How do I know if I’m depressed, have anxiety, or if I even have any of the illnesses?

Great question!  It can feel so overwhelming sometimes when we feel like we respond before we have time to think about it.  Add on top of that, being a new mom can add so many different levels of questions, thoughts, concerns that we may not have experienced before, which can lead us to feeling unlike ourselves.  After pregnancy, it can take some time to get our hormonal levels back to pre-pregnancy levels and sometimes this, along with the change of life, can trigger an increase in anxiety and depression which can often appear as agitation, frustration, and a shorter fuse for some people.  

You are, by no means, alone in these feelings and it is admirable that you are wanting to do what you can to create the environment for your family that fosters the love that you have for one another.  There are different ways that we can begin to look at healing that can include challenging our thoughts, understanding where our frustrations are coming from, hearing and understanding what our emotions are telling us, and even using some body/biology hacks to help calm our nervous system.

Incorporating coping skills can also be a very integral part of healing and understanding what we need during this time.  Some of the ones that you can use are the 5,4,3,2,1 method, the color method, and some basic journaling.  The 5,4,3,2,1 method incorporates using all of the senses to help decrease anxiety and frustration.  You would look around you and name 5 things you can see, name 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and one thing you can taste.  This exercise helps bring us back to the moment and stop the worry and frustration cycle for the moment.  The color method is deciding on a color and then looking for and naming everything you can see around you that is that color.  This is a form of distraction that can help you when you are beginning to feel frustrated.  Journaling about your day, exploring your feelings, and writing about things that you are grateful for can also help rewire your brain to begin to focus on the things that are going right.

I can tell that you care deeply for both your husband, your kid as well as for yourself.  By acknowledging that you want things to be better shows an amazing level of commitment and your entire family will benefit from that.  

Being a mom can be very rewarding and very challenging in regards to our feelings.  You don't have to do it alone, and it can and will get better!  Let me know if you have any questions or would like to discuss this more!