How to overcome the mental stress and pressure and find a path to focus on. Study

Hey there! I’m so sorry that you are struggling. It sounds like you have been set on a path that you are not enthusiastic about. You are studying a field that you may not have interest in, it seems. You mentioned that you are depressed, don’t have many friends. Being isolated can absolutely increase depression.

Unfortunately, there is no easy answer for how to deal with it.

So what now?

Well, therapy would absolutely be a good place to start, whether it’s through Betterhelp, or another agency! If cost is a concern, put your location + community mental health into google, and a low cost agency (who often works on a sliding scale with payment as low as zero), should pop up. I wish there was an easy, overnight magic wand type answer for you. I would also recommend seeing a psychiatrist! Doing therapy and medication management can help you learn about your symptoms and develop skills to heal. It’s not an easy path, but neither is the one you are on if I’m reading you correctly. If you need help right away, the crisis text line at 741741 might be a good place to start. You just text that number “start” and someone talks to you pretty fast. It’s a great way to get some help in the short term, and you don’t even need to be in crisis in that moment. The National Suicide Hotline is also a good resource, and again, you don’t have to be in crisis to reach out and benefit. And both are open 24 hours a day! And are free! Their number is 1-800-273-8255.

Betterhelp does have financial aid available if you qualify, and you can reach out to them at contact@betterhelp.com.

So what is therapy? How can therapy help you? Well, a worksheet that I like to use has the following information.

Psychotherapy is a process that many believe is shrouded in mystery, but it doesn't have to be that way. Therapists are normal people who usually chose their profession because they care about other people, they're good listeners, and they want to help.

 What does a therapist actually do, and how can they help me?

Therapists act as a neutral party who can listen and try to understand without judgment. Therapists help you learn about yourself by pointing out patterns and giving honest feedback. Therapists teach specific techniques and strategies to deal with problems. Therapists can refer you to additional resources in the community that might be helpful. Therapists provide a safe place to learn and practice social skills.

You won't be annoying your therapist, whomever you choose, by being present and working to change and grow as a person. It sounds like you have a lot going on, and therapy really can help you sort through everything. 

Every therapist on Betterhelp has a different theoretical orientations. Some use CBT. Others use REBT, EMDR, or other various evidence based practice.   

What are the limitations of psychotherapy?

Therapists should not tell you what to do or try to direct your life. Think of the proverb: "Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach him to fish, and you feed him for life." Therapists will help you learn to solve your own problems, rather than solving them for you. Some mental illness cannot be managed by psychotherapy alone. If medication is recommended, it's probably important. Benefiting from psychotherapy does require work on your part. Speaking to a therapist for an hour a week, and then pushing it out of your mind, probably won't do you any good. Complete homework, practice your skills, and legitimately try the recommendations you are given. Therapists cannot be your friend after starting a therapeutic relationship. Therapists generally like their clients, and would love to get to know them better, but ethical rules prevent the formation of relationships outside of treatment. It isn't you, it's just that the therapist could lose their license! Therapists cannot read your mind. If you hide information, or are dishonest, you're wasting your own time and money.

Therapy is a great way to help you sort out the why’s and how’s behind what you are experiencing.

A therapist can help you figure out what you want to change, and work with you develop a plan for change. It’s okay to seek help. You can change. It takes a lot of time and there isn’t a magical wand. You probably have a lot of deep seated core beliefs and values that drive your being. Learning to address and change them, and process them is a lot of work, but it can get done, and you can get better. You deserve to find happiness in your life. You deserve to be relieved of the burdens that you are carrying alone. Therapists are there to listen.  A therapist can really help you process what is causing your thoughts and feelings and help you develop coping strategies. Something to remember when learning coping skills is that they are skills. Skills are something we develop over time and sometimes, new skills that we are still learning don’t quite work effectively, and that is okay! The more you practice, the better you get!

An alternative to therapy might be downloading an app like Mindshift (which is free) or Unwinding Anxiety (which is subscription based). Both of these apps contain tools to help you learning calming skills to manage your physical symptoms (such as rapid breathing) and learn to quiet your mind. Google also contains a wealth of information on coping skills. While these apps won’t do much to challenge your cognitive distortions, or core beliefs, they can help in teaching you those important emotional regulation skills.

Ultimately, it’s hard to help you figure out what to do without knowing more about you and the situation. You’re in a tough spot, but you will get through this. You are not alone. Remember, you’ve survived 100% of your toughest moments so far in life. It’s okay to need some help to move forward. Therapy can really help you figure out how to change your life for the better. It can really help you change what you are experiencing. Luckily, Betterhelp makes getting matched to a therapist pretty easy, if you want to go this route. If you don’t click with the first therapist you match with, it’s easy to switch counselors until you find one that really works for you and your needs. Finding the right therapist is key.

I wish you the best of luck!