I am feeling so depressed I can’t get out of bed and function - how can I make this better?

The past several years have been so difficult for me and I’m trying my best to restart my stalled life but I just don’t see any improvement in my situation
Asked by Tomas
Answered
02/03/2023

Hi Tomas! 

Depression is a very difficult thing to deal with. I notice it to be especially difficult this time of year for a lot of people. Winter can be dreary and the lack of sunshine can be depressing in itself! 

I am so glad that you reached out for some help. That shows that you do have some motivation to make positive changes and change is hard so that motivation really comes in handy! 

Your feelings are linked to your thoughts, and your behaviors. That's good news because it means that there is more than one avenue you can take to start feeling better. This concept comes from cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT. It is very likely that either your thoughts or behaviors are leading to this feeling and the feeling of depression is leading to the behavior of staying in bed. It is very possible that the behavior of staying in bed is leading to the feelings of depression and likely some negative thoughts. Do you see that cycle there? 

So what do we do about this? You have to start changing a thought, a feeling, or a behavior and the other two will follow. Let's start by working on identifying some thoughts that you are having. Write down all of your thoughts for about two minutes. Write them down exactly as they are happening in your mind with no fear of judgement or questions-no one has to see it except you. Look through these thoughts and see if you can identify any that might cause these feelings of depression. If you can. be aware of them and work on processing them on your own, with a trusted person or with a therapist.

Okay so now that you have done that, let's focus on the behavior. It sounds like just staying in bed all day with nothing to do except focus on your negative thought patterns is not super healthy! I know you said that you can't get out of bed but the good news is that you actually can! (Assuming you have the physical ability to do so because you did not mention otherwise.) The first step is to stop telling yourself that you can't, or at least stop believing yourself when you say you can't. Today, give yourself a goal of one task to complete. It can be as small as getting out of bed and taking a shower. Showers are actually very helpful when it comes to feeling less depressed so I like to try this first but the goal can be as small as getting out of bed and walking around your room for a minute. You make the goals based on your own needs in this moment. Tomorrow, make a goal to go a little further. For example; maybe you have some chores that need to be completed, if you just do one load of laundry or one dish in your sink, that's still progress. It's okay to take it slow, just make sure you are increasing your goals a little bit each day. You may have to push yourself a little and that's okay! 

Another thing that can be helpful is reaching out to family or a friend. You don't have to talk about how you are feeling. You can reach out and ask them about their day and how they are doing in this moment. 

These are just a couple of techniques to help manage these feelings! I wish you the best with everything! 

-Melissa