Random outbursts

The information provided in the question limits a comprehensive determination, but a few things are almost a certainty regardless of the unidentified variables. 

Depression in and of itself can manifest as aggressive and combative communication and emotion in our personal relationships.  Those we care most dearly for are more often than not the targets of these seemingly random occurrences. 

I would utilize narrative therapy regarding the specific anxiety inducing situations and circumstances by tracing root causes and examining the nature of these occurrences.  By talking you through the onset of the anxiety I can help you identify ways to "head off" the triggers of your anxiety leading to cessation or deescalation. 

Depression may be best addressed by applying cognitive behavioral therapy techniques observing and clearly defining the thinking errors or cognitive dissonance at the heart of the deeply disturbing and debilitating episodes in an effort to ease the stress on you and the fallout experienced by your husband. 

In any case, a deeper understanding of the sources of the anxiety and depression will almost certainly give you the insight to address the phenomena head on.  What may seem random is rarely that.  Once we determine the sources of your despair, we can restructure your thoughts and, as a result, the unwanted behaviors and outbursts.  This may completely alleviate the problems, but it will also be quite beneficial to rule out any physiological issues which may be contributing to the depression and anxiety in some small or significant way.  Quality of sleep has a direct effect on our personal relationships and influences the stability we seek.  Physical fitness is another element to consider.  Depression in general and angry outbursts specifically could be an indicator of stress in mind and or body.  Even elements of your social wellness may warrant equal consideration.  If your interactions are limited primarily to your significant other, day in and day out as with a work from home situation, speaking to a counselor may provide some needed opportunity for venting.  A multi-dimensional approach to identifying contributing factors along with cognitive, behavioral, and physiological wellness tools should ensure that our therapeutic endeavors prove successful.