How do I stop intellectualising and start deep healing?

I am a neurodivergent lady with high self awareness who tends to intellectualise my feelings. I have a lot of knowledge and experience regarding therapy and psychology so I know a lot of the models etc that are recommended when exploring my traumas. This means I haven't healed much despite understanding why I behave a certain way, or how my past traumas interferes with my present life. I have been to therapy before where therapists have only praised me for my attitude and approach without actually contributing to that deeper healing. Is this even possible?
Asked by Lola

The two words to mindfulness: "Not Always So."

Intellectualizing is probably your curse. You probably do sound nice and say the right things. I believe you probably understand the material and can apply it to the situation. I believe that what you explain yourself to be upfront. The neurodivergent self determines how you will interpret this answer and how to take in and store the information. All of that is the frontal lobe, higher level processing but what you need is to understand the lower level, the limbic system, and experience that moment at that time. 

What I may suggest is to start experiencing therapy, if you continue. Stop answering or doing, and begin to notice and sit with what you are experiencing right now, for instance. You are having thoughts and judgments; you may not understand what I am saying because I am asking you to reflect, and there is no correct answer.

You may be experiencing frustration as to the amount of time you wasted on writing this question, and it does not equate to what you thought was helpful for you. You may think that the person writing this answer does not understand neurodivergent individuals. There may be many things going on right now, and all through the lens through which you approach life, and I ask this. What are you feeling in your body? 

What are your feet doing right now? Are your toes curled? Is your stomach tight? Are your hands doing anything? What do you smell and taste? Now, is there a thought to these questions, a judgment? Am I being coy with my response? Don't actually answer. There is no answer here. There is only what you are noticing objectively. Notice that you notice these things and practice sitting in them, not fixing or defining or trying to answer or summarize. Mindfulness will be your exercise now. 

Now, you may have heard that and refer to practicing that and want to know how this could help you. I will answer, but you may question that. You are familiar with a certain association of thoughts to actions. A habit of this information applies to this thought. With that, you might think: How does this help me? How does being aware of myself and my surroundings help me? How can anything help, really? What is help, after all? There is no answer to your question because you are an intellectualizer; that is what you do.

Your practice and, therefore, progress toward deep healing will be to sit with what you are experiencing and notice that you notice. Notice that there could very well be this childlike version inside of you screaming out as it is triggered, and yet, you want to understand the proper CBT format in which you should address it. You will sit with the uncomfortable parts and not tell anyone about them, not summarize or define them, sit there. Your therapist might ask, and you can articulate, but do so objectively, not giving what you associate it with or what you think it is from. Just notice and sit with them. Notice that. Now....notice that. 

Your frustration is something to experience as well. You will want to leave because what is being asked cannot be intellectual. It is straightforward, in fact. Learn to sit with the parts of yourself that are triggered, and you will validate that person the trauma happened to and start to accept and then heal.