How to manage the sadness of a breakup while co parenting

Dear Peace Time,

Relationships are hard, and coparenting is also hard. It sounds like you have been struggling with the changes for a while now. There is a certain amount of grieving that takes place with the ending of a relationship, even if it is ultimately the right thing for both parties. There is the grieving of the actual relationship to contend with, as well as the grieving of the what you thought the future would like. I imagine that not having your daughter full time is compounding what that process looks like for you.

It can be helpful for any parents that are co-parenting to seek out additional support and resources through out this adjustment period. There are some really great co-parenting classes, that can help with teaching skills for conflict and disagreements. If you are experiencing sadness and anxiety that are becoming more disruptive in your day to day life, it might be prudent to think about starting some counseling for yourself to learn some skills for managing those feelings and making sure that you ways to challenge unhelpful thoughts that can come up.

It is important to work on building a network and making sure you have some hobbies to help fill some of the new found free time. What were the things that made you happy and filled you up before you had a little one? Is there some of that you can incorporate back into your life?

There are also a lot of support groups for single parents, some of which you may be able to attend virtually, which can also help sometimes with feeling a sense of community and having that group of people that you know "gets it" and is struggling with similar issues and can provide insight into how they are coping and getting through the hard times. Additionally, possibly looking into self help resources such as workbooks or books about co-parenting or other self improvement topics.

I hope that this is answer is at least somewhat helpful Peace Time. Make sure that you are keeping up on self care and finding time to do the things that fill you up at the end of the day.

Lorraine