How do I cope with moving away from all of my friends and family?

Hi Chuck,

First of all, this is a brave step to reach out for help. You are not alone in the concern about leaving old friends behind and making new ones in a different setting. It is also brave to move over 1000 miles away to a new city from close friends and family members. I'm not sure of the circumstances-school, work, family, relationship etc.- but it will be quite the adventure. It is understandable that you would be worried about leaving behind loved ones and starting fresh at a brand new place with a new job and a new life. 

As for making new friends, maybe look at it as finding things to do that interest you in the new place, and then friends will follow. For example, volunteering is a great way to meet others, while doing something for the community. Or doing hobbies like hiking or something physical is a great way to get exercise and also find like-minded people. The point is to approach it as doing things for your own personal wellness and then meeting new people along the way. Hopefully, that can take some of the pressure off of the need to be social and finding new friends immediately. You're in a unique position of discovering a different place (not sure if it's new or familiar to you) and seeing everything it has to offer.

I also recommend setting up ways to keep in contact with your current friends as they seem very important to you. Even hundreds of miles away, they can still be helpful and supportive of you as you adjust to the new setting. You can do fun things with a friend or family member to stay connected in long distance relationships, such as write letters, plan online movie watch parties, face-timing or video calls, sending gifts, etc. With moving to a different place, perhaps it is a place where friends or family will want to come visit at sometime down the line. You can also make arrangements to go back and visit them for holidays and other special events. Maybe not look at it as leaving so many people behind, but accepting the challenge of finding creative ways to keep them in your life and support system even from long distance.

In addition, there are a few process questions I would encourage you to consider as you work through moving so many miles away and getting adjusted to a new setting while dealing with so much stress.

-Remind yourself of your purpose for moving in the first place. There must be a good reason/goal/opportunity. How can you make the sacrifices for this move not be in vain?

-What is going well in your life right now in your current environment? What are some ways to set those good things up in the new environment?

-Who is in your support system that can help you get through this move both mentally and physically? Friends? Extended family? How can you get the support you need for negative feelings or negative thinking during this time?

-What lessons can be learned from this time that can aid you for challenges in the future? When you think about six months or a year from now, what do you want your journey to look like? How do you want to describe to others how you were able to navigate this tough time and be successful with it?

Making a change this big and moving away from loved ones and your entire family is not easy. I encourage you to have patience and compassion with yourself and turn to healthy coping mechanisms as you navigate through this challenge.