are grief and bereavement the same thing?

The short answer to this question is that these are two different concepts.  However, when speaking about the grieving process, these two things are connected.  Referring to bereavement, this is the time frame following a loss. Grief is the emotional state that is expected to occur during this time.  During the bereavement period, one can expect to experience and express the most intense feelings of grief associated with the loss.

From a grief counseling perspective, considering both concepts in a clinical setting is very important to facilitating healing or coping after a significant loss.  There is no such thing as a “typical” time frame dictating how long a person needs to be in bereavement. Sometimes, other factors will quantify this timeframe, such as the need to “function” enough to engage in the workplace.  Take, for example, “bereavement leave.” This is where a job will allow a person time off to attend to their own bereavement period and engage in grieving without risking the loss of employment. Typically, this is only a few days and not nearly enough time to process fully. Furthermore, entering a period of bereavement is not exclusive to death. Someone can enter a stage of bereavement over the loss of a relationship or the onset of a chronic illness. Yet, bereavement leave does not cover these situations. So, even when a period of bereavement has been given an “official” timeline for a person to mourn, it still doesn’t account for all the other ways people need to engage in this process to heal.

It also is not out of the ordinary for a person to go in and out of periods of bereavement (For example, someone might re-enter the bereavement period around an anniversary of some kind).  Likewise, grief is an emotion that is pretty common and can be experienced at different levels of intensity daily and not just in the aftermath of a significant loss.  That being said, using the framework of a “bereavement period” being typical after a loss can help to determine if someone might require additional support. There is such a thing as complicated bereavement. This is where someone might be “stuck” or “frozen” in a period of bereavement. While, normally, someone will move out of bereavement and function in their daily life while still experiencing levels of grief, someone with complicated bereavement cannot do this. Even if the loss occurred several years ago, they are still experiencing the grief and having reactions associated with grieving that are just as intense as they were right after the loss happened. We need to be mindful of our own grief (and sometimes the grief of others) so that we can engage in the healing process and access additional resources if needed.