How to navigate through grief over a loved one?

Hello Hocuspocus,

Thank you for taking the time and reaching out, you ask an excellent question. It sounds like you connected with this person on a very deep and intimate level. Something like this does not often happen to many people. 

If you and I were working together in therapy, I would want to know more about your abrupt departure. What were the circumstances surrounding the goodbye? You also say that you are still in contact with the person, that must be very difficult. What does that look like? 

Grief is the end of something. Could be a physical death, a divorce, a breakup, a move, any significant life change. Grief can cause sadness, pain, tears, guilt, just to name a few emotions. 

What are your goals for the communication you still have with the person? Is there a hope for a future with them at some point? If there is, it may be that you have to adapt and adjust to a long distance relationship for now. 

If you feel that this is not likely to happen, it might be best to stop the contact with them, if it causes you this much pain and sadness. Closing this door might be better for you, both now and in the long run. As long as you are in contact, these strong, intense emotions are not likely to go away. 

Some strategies which may help you navigate through this would include, keeping yourself busy and engaged in activities and hobbies that you enjoy doing. Reach out to friends and/or family. Do the things that you enjoy and that make you happy. Journaling is an excellent tool. Do things that give you a sense of purpose.

I would encourage you to look into finding a therapist whom you can speak with on a regular basis while you are going through this. You might find it very helpful with dealing with and processing these feelings, as well as help you make the best decision for yourself.

I hope that you have found this helpful and I wish you all the best moving forward on your journey.