What do you do when your adult children have just shut you off?

Hi Connie.   Thanks for reaching out.  Sounds like you are going through a difficult and sad time right now.  This can be a stressful, confusing time.  How is your support system? Do you have family and friends you can lean on in this time of need?

Family dynamics and relationships can become strained due to stress, anxiety, misunderstandings, and lack of communication.  Is reconciliation a possible option? You can reach out to your children and make it known you are there for them and the lines of communication are open. 

In this kind of situation we often get stuck with feelings of guilt, blaming and wanting to find the reasons for the disconnection.  We may not receive the answers we are looking for.  This lack of closure complicates the situation. 

What we can do is take care of ourselves and focus on what is in our control. Self care means prioritizing our mental, physical, and emotional well being.  Putting energy into the moments, activities, and relationships that bring joy and comfort can provide healing. 

The loss of close relationships like the ones you have with your children can be painful and hard to process.  Grief counseling and/or joining a grief support group is helpful for processing loss and gaining acceptance to learn to navigate these changes and move forward. 

Moving forward will require forgiveness, understanding, and acceptance.  Surround yourself with a network of close ones you can turn to in this difficult time.  Allow yourself to feel your feelings rather than burying them.  You will experience sadness, anger, and denial.  Know that it is ok to feel and process these emotions.  

A professional Counselor can help you manage the grief process and teach the coping skills to help gain acceptance.  In the safe, judgment free environment of individual therapy you can talk about the feelings you are experiencing and come to terms with the absence of your children.  Within a group therapy setting, you will find and talk with others in a similar situation. Knowing you are not alone and gaining understanding from others can be soothing and comforting.  

I am sorry you are going through this situation and wish you all the best.  Take care of yourself and be well.