Which grief is worse?

Grief is a normal part of life experienced by most of us at some point in our lives.  People process grief in different ways. Some people go through stages while others do not. The amount of time spent grieving also varies from person to person.  Some people recover quickly while others take longer. Some people prefer to grieve alone, while others prefer to be supported by family and friends.  It is believed that the type of death (unexpected or expected), the number of deaths a person has experienced, and the amount of dependence a person had on the individual that passed away are contributing factors to how people grieve.  Witnessing the death or suffering alongside the individual that died can also be a contributing factor.  However, to answer your question, there are two different kinds of grief: uncomplicated and complicated, and complicated is the worse.

Uncomplicated Grief

Uncomplicated is normal grief where the individual processes the pain but eventually does adjust to the loss and returns to their normal life.  Of course, these individuals continue to feel some sadness about their loss.  Most people experiencing uncomplicated grief do not require medication or counseling to process their grief, although some do in the short term.   

Complicated Grief

Complicated grief, on the other hand, is worse.  This term is used when people adjust poorly to their loss in some way.   It is believed that 10-20% of people that grieve will experience complicated grief.  The symptoms of complicated grief can also be seen in uncomplicated grief, but the severity and length of time are increased with complicated grief. 

Symptoms of Complicated Grief

~avoiding or ignoring painful feelings or reminders 

~refusal to talk about the person that died

~refusal to plan or attend the funeral

~the use of distracting tasks to avoid experiencing the grief

~increased use of alcohol or drugs

~intense mood swings lasting over two months

~neglect of self-care or responsibilities

~increased physical pain (head, joint, muscle, bone)

Treatment for Complicated Grief

Complicated grief is usually treated with individual psychotherapy.  It can sometimes require the prescribing of an antidepressant.  Engaging in a support group can also be helpful.  Even though early intervention is preferred, health care professions can assist people long after death.