Will grief pass?

                Thank you for your question, reader. Grief is a natural and normal reaction to experiencing significant loss. People are built to experience grief and given the chance to process grief-related thoughts and feelings, we do move forward. There are things that we can do to make healing from grief more difficult for ourselves, and there are ways to support ourselves through the healing process. Grief will pass, but if we actively avoid dealing with our grief related thoughts and feelings, it can take longer for us to move out of the pain.

                First, let’s talk about some of the unhelpful things that people do to try to cope with grief that can end up making healing more difficult. John James and Russell Friedman, two grief specialists call these things short-term-energy-relieving behaviors. They serve to temporarily distract us from our feelings so that we can avoid or suppress them. These behaviors can include the use of alcohol or other drugs, other addictive behaviors, or tuning out with excessive television or other screen time. Telling ourselves, or having others tell us, that our feelings are not valid is another unsupportive way of handling grief. There are myths that we have learned such as “time heals all wounds” and “be strong for others” that can leave people feeling misunderstood or like our feelings are somehow wrong. It is much more helpful to find a supportive outlet for your feelings.

                We can help ourselves heal from grief by allowing ourselves to feel how we need to feel about all the thoughts and memories we have regarding the person we have lost or other significant life change that has happened. The more realistic we can examine what feels unresolved regarding those situations or relationships, the more we allow ourselves to find completeness, or closure. Doing what we can do to resolve unfinished business, the more we can move past the pain related to our losses.

                Grieving is unavoidable, as experiencing loss is part of the human experience. Having the tools we need to support ourselves through grief can help people be able to move forward and participate fully again in life. If you are having difficulty healing from grief, it could be helpful to speak to a mental health professional.