How can I stop being in a slump?
Like a Snowball Rolls Downhill
Momentum goes both for the good and the bad. It seems that momentum picks up quicker at times when we form bad habits. It's like the momentum of "bad" habits is the sticky wet snow, when the momentum of the "good" habits is that white powder (I hope you live in a snowy region with my metaphor). Either way, it's like we know, deep down inside of us, that what is easy and pleasurable is often not good for us, and therefore it takes little effort. Whereas the good things, those tough and challenging situations that produce something real and good and worth living and suffering for, can so easily fall away.
You are dealing with a problem that every human being on the planet has ever faced. Nonetheless, your problem is a unique one in your mind. You think and perceive things differently than everyone else. Sure, there are similarities, but your context is yours and yours alone. You may be struggling with doing what you need to do, but you aren't going to be better or worse for having done the thing.
First off, self-compassion. Do not think that doing whatever motivates you will fix anything inside of you. All doing something does is remind you of something that is already in you that gets revealed when you are in the right environment. Based on our experiences and fight or flight responses, our mental health and ego might argue that the tough thing is good. Instead, the mind, the ego, will argue that tough things are bad because it is painful, and then we concede on what we know (pre-frontal cortex) to be good for the low-hanging fruits of no longer being in pain. But again, whether or not you do what you set out to do, you are still the same you.
So then, what do you want to do, and what do you identify is holding you back from it, a feeling? Is that what this is about, a feeling? You know your feelings can come along as you do what you want/need to do. You know that you don't have to alter your feelings to do what you need to do? You know that your feelings are initiated by thoughts, which come from beliefs about yourself. Do you believe you are capable of doing what you need to do, or that what you are told you need to do is anything you want to do? These are the questions you need to ask yourself, starting with what is holding me back and whether you want to do it.
Living life avoiding the stick, hence avoiding pain, leads to nowhere. Leading a life chasing the carrot, which could have lots of pain, is often a life well-lived. Do not let your thoughts, which want you to be safe, tell you what to do. Emotions are like an ignorant friend. The emotions come from a genuine place to keep you safe, but they don't care about the long-term outcomes. You need to realize who is in control here and take it back. Right now, it sounds like you gave up your power to the feelings which are this way today and that way tomorrow.
Learn to sit with those emotions and learn to allow them to speak while you live unaffected by them. I am not saying to ignore thoughts and feelings but rather embrace them. Embrace your thoughts and give yourself credit in your attempt to live the best you can when you do fail. There is pain no matter what you do in this life, the pain of guilt when not doing something, the pain of pain when doing something. Allow your mind to live in this duality of painful, yet purposeful. Pain and purpose go hand in hand. You are going to be better, the best, in fact, when you learn how to endure emotions and thoughts and head toward what matters for you in life. Whatever you say interferes is in the mind, and it has tricked you think thinking that its thoughts are your thoughts.
The brain secretes thoughts like the pancreas secretes insulin; it's just what the brain does. None of these secretions have to be dealt with; not all have to be answered or remedied. They can all pass on by, like leaves on a stream. Practice this with the small things in life, letting the little things go, to practice letting go of the big things.
You have thoughts; you are not thoughts. You have feelings; you are not feelings. Be the you that realizes this and separates from the thoughts and feelings.