How is it possible to remove bad thoughts and ideas and just focus on the moment and be happy?

Sometimes I wake up and i feel surrounded with this negative energy, where bad thoughts or even some negative situations that have happened previously, come to my mind and I process them and formulate a scenario that keeps me in a bad mood the whole day! This affects me a lot as well as my family!
Asked by Leo


Boy, do I have a metaphor for you. 

Imagine this; you are a bus driver in charge of doing what a bus driver does, driving the bus to and from places carrying what? Passengers. So the thing about the passengers is that you don't control who gets on and who gets off. The best you can do is drive the bus. Sometimes you have individuals who try to get your attention or distract you, and what happens when you take your eyes off the road? You get distracted, and you could crash the bus. So, it would be best if you kept your eyes on the road, no matter who gets on your bus. 

See, the thing about life is, we aren't in as much control over ourselves and the environment as we are made to believe. You have thoughts and emotions, but they are not what defines you. You have to shift your perspective on how you think about things, not what you think about. Saying you aren't happy says that you would be better if you woke up tomorrow and felt happy. But what is happiness but a temporary state of mind that never actually lasts that long? Looking at human emotions, there are significantly more negative than positive emotions. So, to hold out for permanent happiness is a waste of life. Instead, you can let go of the belief that being happy and you could live in the state of presence. 

One thing that therapy, yoga, athletics, and careers have in common is that we perform efficiently when we are in the moment. When we are distracted, our thoughts are racing, or we believe that some other place would be better, we aren't present. To be present means to be in the moment fully and to pull your attention to the moment with you. Rather than indulge the thought that you aren't happy or that this or that would be better, or the underlying belief that you would be happy when...

So, you notice the passengers on your bus, and yet you keep your eyes on the road no matter what the passengers do or say. Your job in life isn't to cure, remedy, or set every passenger straight, but to drive the bus. You have the ability to do this, but you've formed a bad habit of indulging a little too much, the thought that you aren't happy and then that thought's cousin that says you could be happy if you make more money, or lose weight, or get that job. How many people sacrifice thousands of dollars and years of their life to go to school for a career they believe the whole way through will make them happy, and then get the job and are worse off than before? 

Your moods will change. They convince you that they are you, and you believe your thoughts and feelings. You let the passengers tell you what to do and then are surprised that you didn't get to where you wanted to go. You can't kick the passengers off the bus; they are there with you. You have to accept they exist, even if you don't like them, and pay attention to what matters most to you. 

What is all this pain of life, pain of change, and attempts to be happy for? What does all of our life bend in service to? Is the ultimate value to be happy in life? Or is there something deeper, something less selfish and more significant for others? It doesn't have to be, but there could be something you think is what you care about, but in reality, you are missing the real thing. Here's a way to find out what someone's value in life is:

What is happiness, but maybe a sign that you made the right choice in life?

Making the correct choice could be a sign of being an intelligent person.

What kind of people are smart? Well, maybe good people are smart.

You can see then that maybe all of this is in service to being a "good" person. Now you can start to do the mental work in what matters and what is worth living and enduring all this pain for. If you want to be content and feel satisfied, make sure that every move you make is in service to your highest value; anything less than that is suffering. 

Pain without purpose is suffering. 

Let go of your old belief that you must address every thought to improve. Let go of the belief that you won't improve until you rid yourself of problems. Get rid of listening to the thoughts that tell you how to remedy life's issues. Get accustomed to sitting with thoughts and emotions. And do all of this in service, not to be less miserable, but in service to what you value in life the most. 

This will lead to a fulfilling life, making you pretty dang happy.