Will therapy really help me achieve my goals to become a better version of myself?

Good day, Hal. You are absolutely correct in that everyone has issues, but it is not necessarily the issues that keep them from their goals or even moving forward. In actuality, it seems more to be related to their fearful mindset and a lack of motivation as most hold themselves back from even making an attempt to move forward. Change is hard for most everyone, especially when they consider the limits of control and also the various unknowns - am I worthy, can I do it, is this the right path for me, do I have the skills to be successful, will it be worth the effort, what will others think, etc. Additionally, a person's diagnoses are generally alright for a person to get a general understanding of themselves, and also common traits that make up such diagnoses; however, in the grand scheme of things, diagnoses seem to be most important to get societal benefits and also to start a plan of treatment following the identification of issues that form a therapeutic treatment plan direction, usually with medical management support.

Now, there are a lot of factors that potentially influence people to be the way they are, including early childhood environment and development, parenting styles, attachment, culture, education, biological issues, addiction and susceptibility, economics and the resources, peers, media, and even world events, to name a few. Furthermore, society has influenced people to seek to do more with less, multitask, often individually, and then to either berate themselves for perceived slights, faults, mistakes, and failures, or to be accepting of others doing that to them. To me, this seems to be setting most of us up for failure.

One, our past does shape us, but it should be as a learning experience rather than a limitation upon our potential. Two, we are made as social beings, and so together we are stronger. Third, decisions are simply decisions, and although we can surely look back at past ones and determine that we could have made different choices, that is only because we are now viewing those past decisions through our current perspective of more knowledge, experience, and resources. Lastly, we do not multitask; what we do is juggle a whole lot of issues and tasks while we seek to focus in on one. However, what this does is often distract us so that we are not fully committed or engaged in the task leading to less than our best efforts. 

So, what can we do? Well, first off, we need to change our mindset away from negativity and beratement, and instead focus in on positivity and learning from the various situations, consequences, and general outcomes, which requires some personal investment for conscious reassessment as we proceed. Additionally, people need to start being more comfortable with themselves and their abilities, rather than focusing in on perceived flaws, which is why I often return to teaching about the basic coping skills, strategies, and interventions. Most everyone knows of these skills, but yet few actively seek to utilize such until after a situation has overwhelmed them and when they are least able to effectively utilize such tools. Thus, they need to be more aware of their environment, actively identifying potential issues and stressors, and practice and plan before such situations become overwhelming. With tasks, people need to start breaking down the issues and tasks into their individual component parts so that they are better understood, more manageable, and generally easier to address and process. Doing so serves to establish task priorities, and when accomplished, serves as a reminder for successes, which then improves self-confidence and self-esteem, which in turn are necessary for motivation.

There is clearly a lot that is interconnected, and taken as a whole, it can often be overwhelming. But that does not have to be the norm, and with therapy, you get a chance to start taking back control of your life using the safe space of the therapeutic environment and relationship to vent, brainstorm, learn and grow so that you can develop plans for moving forward without judgment. Additionally, while discussing your issues and concerns, you get an opportunity to organize and prioritize your thoughts, which frees up more time and effort so that you can seek to start balancing out your life to make it healthier, happier, and more purposeful. After all, life is simply not just about working for others; you need to invest in yourself too, and that is something that no one will ever be able to take away from you.

It is all a process though, and it does take time to make small, positive changes with conscious deliberation so that you can incorporate this into your daily routine as something sustainable. You just have to ask yourself if you are up to the challenge and adventure. With time, you will eventually discover that life is meant to be explored and enjoyed, and these challenges and barriers that you are currently seeing as holding you back, they are in reality, merely speed bumps in life surely there to slow your roll so that you do have the opportunity afforded to you.

Together we can make today great.