How do I know what my main issues are and how to describe them to a person who has no idea who I am?

Hello, this is actually a really good question and one that is often asked in therapy, especially to those who therapy is a new experience for. It is true that a lot of therapy can be goal orientated and it is indeed a standard question that is asked usually at the assessment point of undertaking therapy. What is important to first advise here is that ANYONE can enter into therapy, it doesn't actually have to have anything to do with trauma, phobias, addictions or disorders. Although all of these are common topics within therapy sessions, these are pretty easy to identify for the sufferer which makes answering that particular question simple. For those who don't have these sorts of obvious issues, it can be tricky to pinpoint what their focus should be on.

Not everyone has a high level of understanding of themselves, as not everyone has high levels of self-awareness. Some people are not naturally in tune with how they feel, so how can they be expected to know how to change this? It can be a challenge to also understand why we behave in ways that are the opposite of what their goal is or how to change their behaviors generally. For these people, it is worth having the aim to find a therapist who will explore this with them by asking questions rather than one whose function is to listen predominantly. 

If we strip back the reasons people enter into therapy and look at what the function of therapy is, it can become clearer. The one goal that every client has universally, is to exit therapy as an improved version of themselves. When we view it from this perspective, it can be easier to see what we would like to change about ourselves and our lives. There is an argument to say that everyone would benefit from therapy at some point in their lives, because of this fundamental goal. How many times have we wished that we could just take our tangled thoughts out of our head and make sense of them so we knew which path to take? Well this is one of the very basic parts of therapy that can be so helpful in us making sense of the world.

So if you are questioning if you indeed NEED to go to therapy, the most likely answer is that you would most likely benefit from therapy to help you explore yourself. Having the aim to explore who you are, what makes you the person you have become, what would you like to change about yourself and in your life are all good baselines to begin therapy. With greater understanding of all these things can give us the bigger picture of our worlds, so we can make more balanced decisions ultimately. Keep in mind that you don't need an intense or specific reason to enter into therapy such as depression or anxiety, we also work with clients who are on a self-exploration journey. Whilst you are in conversation with the therapist, they will be able to identify clues as to what may be causing you difficulties that could be explored further and improved if you wish. 

I hope this has been helpful to you and wish you good luck for the future.