Intrusive thought

Hello KP

I want to begin by just saying thank you first of all, for reaching out and asking this difficult question.  Just having done so demonstrates a certain amount of courage and the willingness to be a strong advocate for yourself and what you are needing.  That is something to acknowledge!

In this case, it seems that what you are looking for is some additional psychoeducation regarding your thoughts.  It sounds like you are describing having intrusive thoughts that are getting in the way of your daily life.  These can be especially difficult to ignore if the thoughts are directly in opposition to another thought or belief that you might also carry.  This sounds to be your case as you said "I can't get them away" and that it is making you feel angry, because "I know they are not what I say I am".  That experience can become very overwhelming and distracting to say the least. 

I am wondering if you have had any experience working with a professional for mental health in the past?  It is difficult to determine, without more information, what else could be happening in your case.  Sometimes our thoughts can become more problematic in nature when we are under more stress or anxiety.  Drugs and/or alcohol can also impact our thinking patterns and our cognition.  If we are spending excessive time alone without the company of other individuals, our thoughts can seemingly become more loud and destructive if we are not careful.  Have you ever heard of the phrase "being in my head too much"? That is what that is referring to.  Additionally, on rare occasions people do hear something more similar to a voice or a whisper in their mind, which can tell them certain things or encourage them to behave a certain way.  In extreme cases, this can become unsafe. These symptoms can be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and at that time, professional help is absolutely recommended. 

If you feel any time like you are unsafe or that you can not stop the symptoms you are describing, please call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room to have an evaluation and get additional support!

Therapy otherwise, can be a very valuable tool in helping one to gain a clearer understanding of yourself, your inner processes, your thought patterns, emotional responses and what your needs are.  Working with a therapist can assist us in our relationships with our emotions and thoughts and can help us learn to observe them and come to understand them in a way that can be difficult to do on our own.   A therapist can better determine if there is something medical vs something emotional vs something chemical that is causing the symptoms and concerns and can help guide you toward the supports that can help.  Therapy can also assist with teaching new skills and techniques to be able to cope with disruptive symptoms so that even if they don't go away entirely, they can become less intrusive and disruptive to your life, so you can focus on what most matters to you!

Hope this was helpful to get you started with some relief in the near future. 

Remember, help is out there and you are already well on your way to feeling better just by reaching out today and taking that first step.  Well done.

Hope you are having a good start to your winter and are safe out there!

Stay well in the meantime. 

-JA, BetterHelp Therapist