It’s okay to feel overly emotional all the time?

I’m an over thinker, I feel as though my overthinking causes me to be insecure, and that then causes me to experience all these different emotions at once. I don’t know how to control them, and when I express them people tend to think i’m overreacting.
Asked by Kens
Answered
01/20/2023

Thank you for your question.  It is brave of you to write how you are feeling, it sounds like you are also self-aware and already know the unhelpful thinking patterns you are in.  When we overthink it does tend to spiral out of control unless we are able to stop, rationalize, reframe and then act upon it.  It sounds like this is what you are doing and then as a result feeling lots of different emotions, perhaps anxiety, frustration, annoyance, etc.

It is possible to change this way of thinking.  Working with a counselor you will be able to explore what the thoughts are that you are overthinking and why you are doing it.  You may even be able to work out why you do it, where has this behavior come from.  This too will help with understanding to help support you in making a change.  You would be guided through recognizing these thoughts at the moment they begin and then have strategies, or interventions to prevent them from spiraling.  With practice, practice and practice you will be able to stop them from happening at all.  

The emotions that you are feeling are probably acting in this way to keep you safe.  Almost like a smoke alarm that keeps going off.  It is important to lower the sensitivity of that smoke alarm because it is going off when it does not need to.  Being aware of the thoughts and managing them in a way so they do not set off that alarm will help calm it so then it does not happen so often.

So in a nutshell, what is happening for you is normal, although unhelpful.  It is possible to make changes and stop it or reduce it from happening.  Discovering what those thoughts and feelings actually are, what they are communicating in the emotions and being able to recognize when it is beginning to happen is a way of making a change. This does not necessarily mean you will never overthink again in the future, but in the future you will have some go to strategies to stop the overthinking.