Why body language is so important?

Body language is one of the most important ways we convey thoughts, emotions, and beliefs to each other, aside from language and tone of voice.  When conversing with somebody, we take in hundreds of thousands of pieces of information about the message we receive and use that data to interpret the communication and respond accordingly.  Without body language, the picture of communication would be incomplete and potentially misinterpreted.

The significance of this shows up in therapy persistently.  For example, if someone tangents into describing something hard and suddenly crosses their arms, that may be a sign of protection because they are talking about something that makes them feel vulnerable.  Or imagine going on a first date—what do you pick up on that holds meaning?  Do they sit too casually, maybe indicating they don’t take the date seriously?  Do they position themselves too close, maybe indicating they have poor boundaries?  When they speak, do they make eye contact confidently or shy away?  These behaviors are small pieces of a larger puzzle but absolutely send messages about the other person’s experience, emotion, expectations, etc. 

The biggest messages we send through body language are our emotions and thoughts.  Though we use language to convey our experiences to others, body language can do that in a way words sometimes can’t.  We may sometimes describe a story while also using gestures or certain motions to capture the essence.  Or we may (literally) turn our backs during an argument to express anger or exasperation.  Not only do we hold these emotional reactions in our bodies, but on our faces as well.  We wear universal expressions of fear, surprise, sadness, anger, joy, and disgust to display to others what we are internally feeling.

So the next time you are having a conversation with someone in person, take the time to notice their body language and yours.  What do you naturally do that you can become aware of at the moment?  What do you observe about the other person’s way of expression?  It all depends on the context—who is speaking, what they are speaking about, their typical body language quirks, etc.  Conversely, you could try not using anybody's language and attempting a conversation.  What does that feel like?  Do you feel you are expressing what you need to? 

Body language is so important and lets us tell other people things without spoken words and vice versa.  We are a spectacular species built with diverse methods to connect with others.  It serves us in many ways!