Is BH appropriate for a parent/child therapy? Would my 12 yo be able to speak with a therapist?

Single mom of a 12yo boy. Always been very very close. Moved to a new school-struggled last year. Teachers complained of inability to focus. Son felt targeted and not heard. My bf whom my son loves dearly has gone out on deployment w little to no communication. Son is blatantly disrespectful. Mouthy. Lying. Never, never pitching in at home. He sits on electronics. I have tried bribery, allowances, favorite restaurants, vacations, discipline, no electronics, no friends/no fun, I’ve taken everything away. I have talked to him, my boyfriend, my closest friends… it’s in one ear and out the other. I’m at my breaking point. I cry daily. Alone. In my car.
Asked by WB

The journey as a parent can often prove as being lonely, exhausting, frustrating, overwhelming, and draining.  The emotion that is contained within your written question, is truly known and heartfully felt.  Respectively, the heart-break is also both palpable and tangible throughout the provided question. 

Therapy invites individuals of various ages to seek healing, psychoeducation, peace, restoration, and congruency.  Accordingly, there are copious options to consider when pursuing counseling.  Due to the countless avenues in which one can pursue, the counseling endeavor may seem daunting or intimidating.  While mindful of your current experience, it may be preferable for both you and your son to seek individual counseling.  Although your son would pursue counseling with a therapist who is specifically trained to attend to an adolescent population, you would seek out the services of a clinician who specializes in the treatment of adults.  Additionally, the possibility of introducing a Family Therapist, who would be inclusive toward the needs of both you and your son, might also be beneficial in resolving the present circumstances.  Perhaps, the Family Therapist may be able to include your boyfriend into joint sessions with both you and your son, as well. 

Certainly, the theme of loss, abandonment, fear, reactivity, and transition abound within your son's experience.  A degree of patience, honesty, transparency, and trust is required within any counseling dynamic.  With particular sensitivity toward ethics, the format of adolescent counseling requires for the parent to provide both consent and assent in order for information to be gathered by the attending clinician.  The parent can sometimes be invited to be an active part within the adolescent counseling dynamic.  The unique opportunity in which this provides, allows for the parent to recognize and learn of the internal world of their adolescent, while further collaborating in the adolescent's growth.  Often, certain information will be presented to the attention of the parent at the conclusion of the session, especially when it is pertinent to the overall health of the adolescent client.  In many ways, the saying, "There is nothing to lose and everything to gain from the experience" is especially applicable in conjunction with the pursuit of counseling.  Although counseling can be intimidating, once the appropriate therapist is discovered, the transformation that can potentially unfold is immeasurable.