are relationships 50/50?
Asked by Anonymous
Answered
04/19/2021
We all know life isn’t fair, but many are surprised to know relationships are not fair. No relationship, whether it is romantic, platonic, or business-related, is 50/50. The percentage of giving or take in a relationship is fluid. It can be 60/40, 70/30, 80/20 either way at different times throughout the relationship. The expectation of a 50/50 relationship often leads to disappointment and conflict in the relationship.
50/50 vs. 100/100
Most people do not realize that a 50/50 relationship actually means that both parties only give 50% effort. It does not mean that each party gives 50% of the time and receives 50% of the time. This is what the dream relationship looks like, but it does not exist. A relationship is not necessarily about equity and equality but about giving all of yourself to another person, such as your effort, attention, growth, faith, and so much more. A relationship should be 100/100 with both parties giving 100% effort to make the relationship work, grow and be fruitful. We are only human; thus, mistakes will be made, obstacles will come, and you both will evolve. Again, the goal is to give 100% effort when these things arise.
60/40 – 70/30 – 80/20
Relationships are fluid when it comes to the give and take in the relationship. It should depend on which party is in need at the moment. For example, if one party loses their job, the unemployed party will be more 60-80% on household responsibilities while the employed party will be more than 60-80% on the bill-paying obligations. Then the roles will adjust again once the unemployed party resumes employment. Problems become evident in the relationship when things are not fluid, and one party is giving extensively more than the other. A solid relationship is when both parties are willing to give and receive as needed to promote the relationship.
80/20 RULE
It has been said that we will only get 80% of what we need from the right person in a relationship. If this is true, that means we are sacrificing 20% of what we feel we need. For a relationship to work, we must be willing to give 100% effort despite not having 20% of our desires. Also, it is essential to remember that the other party is only getting 80% of what they need. Relationships take work, time, and effort to be successful.
