Can attachment styles change over time?

Attachment theory asserts that the way we form bonds with our earliest caregivers influences the way we view, engage, and attach in later relationships. Attachment styles are thought to derive from the way that our caregivers respond to us.

Secure attachment is thought to form when a child is assured that their caregiver will respond appropriately to needs and rely on them. Secure attachment is characterized by an ability to trust fairly easily, communicate needs, and cooperative and flexible behavior.

Anxiously attached people may have trouble communicating needs, feel unsure of how others feel about them, or be turbulent in relationships. This attachment style is thought to develop when the child experiences inconsistent love and care. People with an anxious attachments may constantly be in fear of abandonment.

Dismissive-avoidant attachment is characterized by ambiguity and emotional distance. This attachment style may develop when only some of the child’s needs are met. The child may have plenty to eat but not experience any affection or be discouraged from expressing emotions by the caregiver. 

Fearful-avoidant attachment develops when a child is neglected or abused. They may experience a push and pull theme in relationships where they want to avoid feelings of closeness but also to feel close and loved by others.

In the initial theory, these patterns or ways of viewing attachment were thought to stay with people throughout life. Still, because people constantly encounter people and relationships and beinareosed to other types of attachment and relationships, a person’s attachment style may change over time.

Some people recognize that they may have a pattern of unsatisfying relationships and decide to research and determine the source of the difficulties, their attachment style, and how it has changed over time. Learning about attachment styles and understanding how they are created can be very helpful in understanding relationships with family, friends, and romantic relationships. With work in therapy, it’s possible to change your attachment style further. If you’re curious about attachment theory and styles and how they may influence your relationships with others, talk with a therapist who is familiar with the theory to learn more and begin making changes to create lasting and healthy relationships.