Can attachment styles change?

Attachment styles form from early childhood experiences and are based upon the ability to bond with parents or caregivers. Children are completely dependent upon the caregiver to get their physical and emotional needs met. Overall, if these needs are met, then the child develops a secure, healthy attachment style where they can trust, develop healthy bonds as an adult, and balance independence with dependence. However, if there are interruptions in this bonding process for the child, the child might develop other attachment issues, experience difficulty trusting others, or have problems with emotional regulation. A study entitled Attachment Security in Infancy and Early Adulthood: A 20-year Longitudinal Study examined the relationship between childhood attachment styles and adult attachment styles found that 72% of participants were classified with the same attachment style over this period of time. However, 36% of participants experienced a change in their attachment style classification. One reason attachment styles can change is after experiencing a traumatic or negative life event. Another study entitled, On the Instability of Attachment Style Ratings, found that 30% of participants changed their attachment style classification in a short period of time, which includes one week to several months.

While attachment styles typically form in childhood, certain experiences or events (both positive and negative) within relationships and friendships can lead to changes in attachment styles. For instance, a child with a secure attachment style begins to experience bullying in middle and high school. This individual might originally have a secure attachment style but develop an avoidant, anxious, or disorganized attachment style due to this trauma. Similarly, an individual who had caregivers who were neglectful or abusive might have a disorganized attachment style but later develop close and healthy friendships and relationships or bonds with a mentor or parent-like figure who has a secure attachment style. This could lead to developing a more secure attachment style or experience fewer characteristics of a disorganized attachment style. Even if an individual’s attachment style classification doesn’t change, positive changes can be made within an individual’s classification by forming relationships with individuals with a more secure attachment style. Therapy is another way to learn more about your attachment style and become aware of how you cope with difficult emotions or feelings in relationships.