Can Attraction Grow?

Yes! Attraction is not just a momentary, impulsive thing. Research shows the more we get to know another person, the more our familiarity and comfort with that person grows, so do the chances that we will become more attracted to them.

When we first meet someone, we do not necessarily feel much of an attraction for them; that does not mean a stronger attraction isn’t in the future for us.  In fact, the slow start to burn may be a very positive sign regarding the sustainability factor. Some studies indicate that when the attraction isn’t super strong at first and things build more slowly in a relationship, the relationship has a better chance of lasting longer.

We may already have experienced enjoying spending time with someone and as we have been around them more, grown to like them. As people become more relaxed around each other, the likelihood is that more of their true selves shine through. We may find ourselves more attracted to the ‘new and improved version of our partner due to that.

And perhaps the best way attractions grow is that as we spend more time with someone, we enjoy being around, the more aware we become of the emotional responses we have when we are with them. We can actually become physically attracted to a person because of how they treat us, how they make us feel, or how much we enjoy being with them.

If we want our attraction for someone to grow, we can also get creative with the type of places or events we participate in with that person. It may not be very easy to think about how stunning someone looks to us if we rarely go places where that person gets the opportunity to look their best.  Even if you’re an avid bowler, going to the local bowling alley every Saturday night may not give you the same view of your partner as a moonlit walk along the beach where you get to together about all the important things the two of you share in common.

So yes, attraction can grow, and there are things we can that can help it along. things