Can Attraction Turn Into Love?

Love At First Sight

It is commonly said that there was love at first sight when meeting someone. Love is an abstract concept, and each person will have a different understanding of what it means to them (and their understanding of the word will probably change as they themselves change). Regardless of what ingredients you think make up the complicated recipe for love, it is important to differentiate between attraction and love. Attraction often refers to physical attraction, but it can also include emotional attraction to another person. A person can find another attractive but not love that person, and a person may love another person but not find that person physically attractive. By the way, long-term relationships, regardless of whether each partner loves one another, will rely on much more than not only attraction but also love. Contrary to what The Beatles claim, love is probably not all you need in most relationships.

Loving Ourselves

It is also often said that to love another, we must first love ourselves. Whether this is true, we should remember that respecting ourselves allows us to have healthy boundaries. Love does not mean that we allow someone to hurt us, take advantage of us, or neglect our needs. Love does not mean that we sacrifice our own happiness for another person, but rather, in a loving relationship, both partners will love one another while still taking care of themselves.

Allowing Love To Happen

Have you ever felt pressured to tell a partner that you love them, or felt that a partner was saying I love you just because he thought he was supposed to say it? Think about what love means to you. What are your experiences with love? Has someone that you loved abandoned you or hurt you? Did you expect that a relationship would last forever, only to watch it dissolve quickly? How we comprehend love may depend on our experiences with loving and being loved, being nurtured and nurturing others, and our overall relationships with others, both romantic and otherwise. Again, love is entirely subjective, and what you view as love differs greatly from what your partner views as love.

Rather than feeling that a relationship is broken if one or both partners do not feel love, it may be helpful for both partners to discuss their experiences openly with love, even going back to their relationships with those who care for them as children. Allowing love to happen on its own, rather than comparing one’s relationship to another or feeling pressured to declare I love you, can allow attraction to become love when it is ready.