How do I rid myself of building resentment?

Hello Layla, I am sorry to hear things have felt very unequal between you and your husband. To answer your question; there is no right way to divide finances, but it does have to work for you both. So if it is not working for you it a problem and that is why there are feelings of resentment.

Your best strategy is to be direct and communicate with "I statements" such as I feel stressed, anxious, etc. because of the amount of money I have to spend to make our lifestyle work and I need the way expenses are divided to be reconsidered. Then address specific behaviors that your husband engages in that contributes to how you are feeling. Be careful though not to fight unfairly during this. Do not attack character, avoid words like you always and you never. Just try to stick to very direct behaviors that aren't working for you and express what you need to happen regarding the finances.

Ideally money would be talked about prior to getting married and how bills, etc. would be divided but this may or may not have happened in your relationship. If it did, remind your husband of whatever those agreements were. If they weren't, express what your preferences are for that and get his preferences, which hopefully line up, but if not explain that since we don't line up on our view of finances that we have to work to meet in the middle. Hash out a plan together and then hold each other accountable to that plan. 

You are allowed to have preferences and to set boundaries for your comfort level regarding the finances. If it is very real expenses your husband is paying for, it is his responsibility to communicate those things and help you understand them. If there aren't and it is just mismanagement of funds on his part it is okay for you to say that as things are it is not okay with you and there has to be changes in how finances are split/handled at home. 

If he is not willing to have these discussions that is a huge red flag. You are a couple and communicating is very important. Being able to work through things together is important. Again, be firm and direct but not attacking. 

Take care and thank you again for your question.