How to improve my communication with my husband so that each convo does not turn into an argument?

Effective communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship and recognizing when there is a problem with communication is the first step in building a healthier relationship.  The first thing you noted is that he becomes triggered by something you say.  It might be helpful to track both the verbal and non-verbal parts of what is going on when he becomes triggered in an effort to build a better understanding of what is going on.  For example, could it be the words said, the topic, a tone of voice, a closed stance, etc.  Once you have more awareness of the potential verbal and non-verbal things that might be triggering, you could ask (when both of you are in a calm place).  An example might be, "I felt frustrated last week when we argued because I'm not sure if the argument was about the topic or about something else."  

Being in a calm place and having a potential awareness of what may be causing the problems is important because you are asking for information which may come in the form of constructive criticism.  When we ask for feedback, it is essential that we allow the other person to feel heard as long as they are not being verbally abusive or disrespectful.  To allow the other to be heard, we have to work on staying present in the moment and allowing time for them to respond without thinking about how we might defend our position.  There are specific relationship skills that can be learned to help improve this aspect of communication.

Another skill that can be helpful to learn is how to meet our partner where they are in the moment.  It can be frustrating when we think we are working on solving the problem but the other person is not in a place to problem solve.  This happens when the brain is flooded with emotions and we may be aware of potential solutions, but are not able to utilize the logical part of our brain.  Learning validation is a way to help our partner decrease the emotions and move toward problem solving.  

Finally, the "silent treatment," is really the worst because it makes us feel like we do not exist.  Learning and agreeing on the rules of fair fighting is a way to make sure we avoid problematic patterns of engagement and employ more helpful methods which can have a positive outcome.  

Learning some skills to manage disagreements can build a solid relationship.  By using these skills and having a better outcome, we learn how to navigate through disagreements to avoid escalation or the silent treatment.  We feel confident in our ability to work together through the difficult things that life can put in our path.