I like someone what should be done about it, if anything?

 Hi Poppy,

Thank you for your question. This is a very brave step you are taking with reaching out for help. You're not alone when it comes to the emotions and anxiety that come with navigating the dating world. You're full of emotions because it can be an emotional experience for some people. So, good for you for at least saying “hello” to the guy at the gym already. That's a brave step.

There are a few process questions I would encourage you to consider as you explore your emotions during this journey and decide which step you will take next.

• As mentioned, saying "hello" was a great first step. What helped you do that? How can you build on that confidence to say a little more to him next time?
• You mentioned being full of emotions about approaching this guy. What exactly are those emotions that you are feeling about this process? Anxious, excited, insecure? It might be helpful to explore them. Perhaps even write them down. Identifying them may help you feel more in control of them.
• You mentioned you "really like" this guy. If you only know him from 10 years ago and it wasn't super well, what is it that you like about him? It sounds like you don't even really know him as an adult. Maybe approaching it as someone you're attracted to and want to get to know versus “really liking” may take some of the pressure off.
• What is causing the insecurity about getting the guy to notice you? Is it the gym environment? Are you generally insecure in all situations like this when approaching someone? It might be helpful to explore the root of the insecurity to get a better handle on it.
• Have you been in a situation like this in the past? How did you handle it then?
• What would you advise a friend to do in this situation? Maybe talk to yourself the way you would a friend.
• Ask yourself, what is the worst that could happen in this situation? What is the best that could happen? What is likely to happen? What is your plan for all three scenarios?

Getting to the other side of an anxious situation where there can be uncertainty and the risk of rejection can be difficult, but worth the journey to get to a more fulfilling place. I encourage you to be kind and patient with yourself as you work towards managing this emotional, but exciting time and improving your well-being overall.

A few tips for now.

• Keeping a journal is a healthy outlet for your thoughts. Use it to process some of the questions posed above and the emotions you mentioned you have been experiencing.
• Develop a good self-care routine. This can help with anxiety and stress management and boost positive feelings. It can help enhance self-confidence, which can make approaching others easier.
• Do additional things to boost your self-confidence: Find 2 to 3 things daily that you did well or went well for you and write them down. Seek out positive affirmations. Think about what gives you purpose and fulfillment.
• Use your support system in a healthy way. Seek out the people in your life that support you, make you laugh, help you with calmness. Ask for their guidance in this situation.
• While thinking about approaching the guy, also keep in mind he may be thinking about approaching you. Do you present yourself as approachable (smiling, making eye contact, etc.)?
• As mentioned above, think of ways to build on the “hi” you have already put in place. Ask about his day, his workouts, say he looks familiar, etc. Think of other ways to get a light conversation started.