I struggle with being vulnerable. Practical ways to exercise vulnerability in relationships?

Hi Dorothy, thank you for your question.  I'm hearing you are already self-aware and know you find it difficult to be vulnerable.  Sometimes people find it hard to let others in as in the past they may have been hurt (emotionally) by someone else who they care about.  This being 'hurt' can lead to the person closing the doors on allowing their emotions show as a way of guarding themself from it happening again.  You may or may not know why you find it hard to show your vulnerabilities, or emotions, to others.  But knowing you find it difficult is your first step.  You are also aware that because of this defense mechanism, which is there to keep you safe, it makes it difficult to form meaningful and fulfilling relationships.  

To be able to make a change in this, you need to be aware at the times when you are not allowing yourself to be vulnerable.  Then it's about changing your behaviors, with this practice, the more you do it, the easier and more comfortable it will be for you and you will begin to have trust that it is OK to do it. 

Strategies you could do include practice asking for what you want, or saying what it is you need.  Speaking up can be tricky at times but with some practice in front of the mirror it will then appear more genuine and natural when you say it to people in public. Expressing how you feel about something too is a good strategy.  Often not saying it in response to a question can take the pressure off you, saying something like "I found that TV program hard to watch, it made me feel sad".  Something like that, is a statement and does not require an answer to then have a further conversation on how you feel.  Slowing down and being present can also help.  Reflecting on how you feel and allowing it to be there. To accept its presence and being with it, becoming comfortable with the feeling, then in time the feeling becomes normalized and then easier to say to others.

I hope you find some of these helpful.  Remember it is practice, practice, practice until it becomes habit and a part of you.