Should I end this relationship?

I’ve just been on the fence with him, and I think I have feelings for someone else. And I don't know what to do, if I should stay or leave? Or what? I’m really confused on what to do.
Asked by Hill
Answered
06/30/2022

Hello, I while I cannot tell you what decision to make, I believe often times these situations occur when an individual obviously feels frustrated with their partner.  Sometimes that frustration can be obvious other times it can just be something that makes the stomach turn because you know something is just not right.   My first question would be have you shared your dissatisfaction with your partner? Do you both understand each other's love language or understand how to express yourself in the way the other understands? Are you interested in the other person because it is something different?

However, typically leaving one situation for another immediately leads to a lot of frustration, confusion, and ultimately trust issues because what will happen down the road when the beginning phase settles and you start to see and understand the other person's tendencies?  Will you all be able to trust one another when things get hard or when something is lacking? I would suggest doing a self evaluation to determine what you're looking for in a partner, what's missing, can you educate you partner how to meet your needs?  Once you have your answer for these questions ideally you will have a better starting point to building a plan for whichever decision you choose to make.  Also you both with have the opportunity to work towards a common goal of a healthy relationship.  The cliche statement is, nothing worth having comes easy.  The more you both focus on each other in a healthy manner, the more you all will grow to respect each other.

Relationships are difficult because they are constantly changing.  Both parties involved in the relationship must be committed to making the relationship work.  If not things become one sided and someone winds up hurt.  

Whatever choice you decide, I strongly suggest you take care of yourself throughout it all.  Be mindful of how your partner responds in the midst of a transition.  Also be mindful of how he would feel from his point of view.  Think about what opportunities you would like to be afforded to you if the situation were flipped.  

I hope this helps...