What do I need to do? What can I do to better myself and decrease overthinking and anxiety?

Hi, this all sounds very overwhelming and it sounds like it is bringing up lots of negative feelings on a daily basis - anger, anxiety and depression. You said your boyfriend thinks you need to fix many things about yourself - how do you feel about yourself? It sounds like your self-esteem is taking a hit at the moment, which is contributing to the feelings of anxiety and depression. You say in the past you haven't followed through when you have said you will fix things - is there something in particular that is holding you back from fixing things? And what does fixing things mean to you both? Perhaps you mean by this, working through your past experiences that may be negatively impacting you today. You say that you struggle with trust, does something lie beneath this that could be explored to figure out why that is difficult for you?

You mention that you have cheated in the past, is this something that still creates arguments? Is there a feeling that your boyfriend might want to rekindle things with his ex and you're worried about him cheating? Perhaps it would be helpful for you to work through the process of what led you to cheat and what it now means for your relationship. It sounds like you hold a great deal of regret and negative thoughts around this. Perhaps it plays a role in your overthinking, somehow? It sounds like you are being really tough on yourself and aren't cutting yourself much slack. It also sounds like you are operating from a place of fear - which is causing a lot of this anxious thinking about your relationship.

A type of therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be really helpful for overthinking and negative thoughts. CBT aims to reframe thinking patterns into something more realistic. CBT looks at how our underlying thoughts (that we are not always fully conscious of) inform the way we feel. The way we feel will impact the way we react to the world (our behavior). CBT aims to break down problems into smaller parts so less overwhelming and logical thinking can be applied. As well as CBT, I like to take a more holistic approach to therapy. My main approach being Humanistic - where we believe that everyone is capable of growing in to the best version of themselves. Through the non-judgemental environment of the counseling room, you are able to reflect on your experiences and situations, including your own role within these. Reflection is the first step to self-awareness. The better our self-awareness, the more able we are to make decisions that work better for us, whether that be putting in boundaries with others or modifying our own behaviors (these are just examples!).