What should l do

Breakups are definitely difficult and impactful. A period of no contact after a break up can be helpful to sorting out your feelings without confusion that can come from ongoing contact. It's essential that you prioritize yourself and your needs independent of the relationship. This can look like establishing strong self care habits, engaging in activities that you enjoy, and connecting with friends and family. 

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills can help to effectively navigate the emotions you may be experiencing. The modules that would contain skills that are most applicable to what you described are Mindfulness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance.

Mindfulness can be defined as the ability to be present in the moment. This is especially helpful following a break up or other distressing event where our mind can be filled with thoughts about the event and/ or memories of the relationship prior to the breakup. When you notice your mind doing this, recognize it and gently bring your mind back to the present moment. Another tool in the Mindfulness module is called Wise Mind. Our wise mind is the intersection of reason and emotion. You can maintain a wise mind stance by using dialectical thinking to recognizing the logic or reason related to the break up as well as the emotions you are experiencing. For example, "I feel sad about the break up AND I know that this is best for me because (add reasons for the break up - ie we are going different directions). 

Emotion Regulation skills can help reduce your vulnerability to your emotions. PLEASE is a skill designed to remind us to take care of our physical selves (treat physical illness, balance eating, avoid substances, balance sleep, and exercise). Some sleep hygiene tips that may be beneficial are: have a nighttime routine that you stick to, avoid caffeine, utilize your bed for sleep, turn off distractions, and avoid looking at your phone right before bed. 

Distress Tolerance has a subcategory of Reality Acceptance skills. Radical acceptance is accepting something fully (particularly something that is difficult to accept) and turning the mind is the act of re-accepting things and turning toward willingness when you find yourself skipping back into denial and/ or fighting reality. 

Short term therapy can be helpful in processing emotions related to the break up, developing skills to manage those emotions, and developing healthy routines.