What to do when dating apps don’t work?

Asked by Anonymous

Like anything we give a try, dating apps can sometimes not work.  When they do not work, it can be confusing why that is, especially when you might see other people have so much success with them.  If you are using dating apps repeatedly with no success, that can be pretty exhausting, and that exhaustion in and of itself can get in the way of them being effective.  Therefore, if you feel that exhaustion, it will be important to admit that to yourself and reset with them; your reset can look how you want it to look, but check in with yourself about that exhaustion.

Taking a break from the dating apps when you find that they are not working can be a great way to reset yourself.  When you take the break, try to engage in other outlets in your life that are positive and engaging.  Having a balance of other outlets in your life, other than dating, can help with the exhaustion of dating because all of your eggs are not in one basket.  While you take this break, try to also think about what you are using the apps for.  Be honest with yourself about what you are truly wanting, and then also think about if that is the energy you are putting out there.  For example, if you are looking for a long-term relationship but continually hooking up with people from dating apps, it could be possible that you are giving off the impression that you do not want to date.  If you continue to do that, it will feel exhausting and confusing if you do not admit that you actually just want to hook up. 

As dating apps do not work for you, it can be easy to take them personally.  Try to remind yourself, though, that everyone is on dating apps for a variety of reasons.  Try to be constructive about changing things up to see if you get a different result.  Changing to a different app can help and/or change up the information in your profile to see if you get a different result.